Monday, December 5, 2011

Give me my Internet!!! 12/4/11

Once again no Internet. In a war zone... why should we think we're entitled? We are dependant on it for communication to our loved ones and oh yeah, for work. Today we are at a stand still- and I get to blog the old fashion way with pen and paper baby yeah! Because we have no connection to the outside world. Everyone is cleaning their work areas, reading, dancing to the oldies...fun times!
Now it could be the Taliban that blocked our signal. We blame the little shit that happens on them. Sort of like gremlins with poorly assembled missiles. Those silly towel heads were at it again last night causing a ruckus...so I hear. Lots of gunfire, missiles, some mortar, but who can tell who's who and doing what. Yesterday, there were many walking around with Santa suits and guns for the annual Christmas fun run. The big thing for the bonus round was that we did not have to get out of bed! No air raid, no bunkers thank God, because once again I slept through it. I tell my scaredy cat buddy, the good Lord did not put me here to blow me up. But now I have a second line that goes, he doesn't like it when people act stupid. So if I hear the ruckus going on I solemnly promise to shake my tail straight away to the bunkers.
Speaking of sleeping, I've been trying to stay at high alert. I sleep with my cell phone that doesn't work here for calls, but "Break on through"... (The Doors) will wake me up if it's right beside me. So, the other night I was sleeping like a baby when all of a sudden I felt a tiny movement in my bed. Knowing all about the famous Afghan kangaroo rats that are suppose to be very cute with their big button eyes and sit on their rear haunches like a kangaroo, I did what every other American girl would do...I jumped out of bed screaming! I tore my bed apart to find that my phone had gone to vibrate- WTH! Now I really want to find one of those jumping bastards- it's the principal, right?
My buddy Colt stayed up all night on Skype last night, after a 3 hour session with Okinawa. So, understandably he was very tired when he hit the sack. He sleeps in a room (like me) with people that come through for a day or two. We call it the transient room, you never know what you'll wake to- or I don't 'cause we all know that I sleep through anything. So he gets to his room and off goes his clothes to land on the top bunk- "pooped as all get out", (a Colt-ism). Then he remembers he left the "Bat phone" (emergency on call line that he is the keeper of- let's all shout AMEN to that...I would never wake up!). So he feels around the top bunk for his pants/ pocket looking for the "Bat" phone on that lumpy bed- which he finds right away to once again lay down on his own sack. Suddenly, the top bunk moves! The guy that was sleeping there had not said a word. It's a good thing that Colt didn't find his "Bat" Phone or this story would have turned out far differently.
Speaking of stupid people tricks, last week I happened to get a ride to go to the showers a mile away. Now I'd walk a mile for a shower. At this place- Yes I would! But you also have to walk back through the muckity muck and talcum sand, in the pitch darkness. I say, what's the point? I usually drag a buddy (never go alone anywhere here), to the abandoned Canadian women's shower. Why would I go to a place abandoned, but a short distance away, you might ask...because we are not suppose to- duh! The showers are a dump and pretty grimy and they left their garbage from their last month here (August), but I wear shower shoes and it is clean water with tons of chlorine to frizz my hair like all of the other showers, and it's got real shower heads- not those stupid wands that you have to negotiate with. So back to my ride to 1 mile shower...I took a nice leisurely 10 minute shower (we're only allowed 3 minutes being in the desert... water shortage you know), and I was feeling squeaky clean. Me and the buds were feeling refreshed and very mellow and PLOP! I fell face first into one of those damn dirt holes that were left over from the flood. I was covered in talcum sand from head to toe. I believe I may have ate some, (remember it contains 17% fecal matter- YUK!) I laid there for a minute or 3 angry and sore because there were rocks in the pit too. There were also many people milling about and truthfully I felt like the biggest pee brain in the world (not to over exaggerate the point). Beefy military guys walked by me saying," watch where you're going." Wise guy like, I said- "Yes sir!  Don't help me up or anything- I can do it." They said, OK and walked on by. They must have been from Romania.
Speaking of, I'm standing in line for chow. The lines are ridiculous and I'm almost to the front and these Romanian soldiers cut in line right in front of me. I was speechless! They immediately got served and walked away. You'd think that this would be no big deal, but it also happened to my buddy- same day, same time at the dessert line. This is war! No more nice girl to the Romanians. They're probably the ones who cut into the Internet!


 
                                               

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