Today I read a funny article titled, "Slept around" about the many different bunk rooms EMS people have had to put up with. It was pretty funny and I want to continue that thought with my own hilarious stories of my adventures in sleepland.
Once upon a time I had to share a tent with 10 other women from different parts of the world. We had 2 unofficial room mom's that made our lives hell until my southern belle princess friend got her gander up and took over. We constantly clicked the temperature remote for air conditioning against the Kenyans who liked it 140 degrees for sleeping in the summertime. Then there was mom #1 who pushed all the beds down from the front to the backside of the tent so that she could have a bigger area. (and thereby filling it with more crap). I slept in the next bunk so this benefited me immensely. I did not understand why none of the other girls did not push the beds back giving them walking space in between their bunks. I'm not one to be noisy, so I let it be.
I also slept in a tent that leaked right above my head when it rained. Fortunately it didn't do that much and I wasn't there for the rainy season, because I could not move the bed. I believe they put it in there and set it with cement. The cement didn't extend to the flooring however, which was un-sanded plywood...must remember to wear shoes. This was also a good reminder as Afghanistan does have scorpions and you never know when one will visit. I actually swept the walls once a week because sand would cake on them. Did you know that Tarantulas burrow in sand? You never can be too careful. No temperature control in that bunk either. It was hot during the day and the breakers would blow sometimes before midnight for no heat the remainder of the night. Thank you God for my super duper sleeping bag.!
In another camp, I was also given a room right next to the outtake ventilation (cold air return). That hose is about 2 feet in diameter and in it's cycle; sucks all of the cold air outside. The heat sensor realizes it's getting cold and heat is distributed throughout again to get the temperature to whatever it's set at. Easy right! I slept in front of that very loud air tunnel and it was windy and cold. I was always sick. To combat my discomfort, I placed my luggage with me on the bed standing up next to the tunnel. It helped greatly...my bunk mates complained how cold they were getting at night, so I hid my barrier/luggage under my bed during the day. This lasted a few weeks, then because the management could not find the problem with the heater we were all moved to a different tent. And I got a better room!
I also lived in general population where my bunk mate- the girl in the top bunk, was making a midnight bathroom run and hung herself from her dog tags. Luckily they broke! I couldn't understand why she was kicking me awake. The bunks were so high that a ladder had to be made because only a 7 foot tall giant could get into them. I had to sleep on the top bunk twice, but I was lucky that someone pushed me up. My foot would not reach the rung as I attempted to pull myself up. Me and my sheets landed on the floor more than a couple of times.
I have a cozy room in the clinic tent now...just a bed and a few nails pounded into the wood that make up my walls. Where patients can come pounding on the door all day and night and break up the monotony of another Ground Hog Day. Poor EMS with their heated rooms and TV's and refrigerators and microwaves and homes to go back to. I want to say boo hoo for me, but I get the check...cha- ching! And it's all part of the adventure....
In the photos; my room in the clinic today and my past room and mates Natalie, who's a dead ringer for Cristina Ricci and the southern belle princess friend LaDona
