Life on a big base is more like a daily life. Predictable and long...I feel like a lemming, but I have co-workers to share in this non-entity. We type and see patients in between our entries into Excel...if time permits. In the past, I cared about an expensive stethoscope- a tool for the trade. Now I only care that I have a great office chair and maybe a desk with drawers.

Our patients are different too. Gone are the guys who came in shot up, limbs missing, blood all over. Gone are the puking, tummy pains. Gone are the hacking up a lung patients. Now we have drug seekers. I never thought to see that in Afghanistan. They come in with....Ma'am, I have tooth pain that bothers me "sometimes." I ask when "sometimes" is, but get the "deer in the headlights" look. I gave a vaccination and a young chap actually asked if I would mind if he took a 500 count bottle of Motrin for his "sometime" pain. I grabbed it back and gave him directions to the nearest PX. Sometime, someone has validated this behavior by handing out pills like candy. Just like children, they cry... we pick them up...learned behavior... Well, there's a new sheriff in town...however briefly, and I will not be giving out our stash.

Speaking of drugs... we have nothing good. Come in for a kidney stone and we can mix you up some brew that will knock you on your a_s for a spell, but don't even think about coming in with a broken hip to be set. I have nothing to knock you out. Fortunately, that has only happened once and he was taken to a real Military hospital for help complete with 4 virile men to help hold him and set it. So don't bother to buddy up to the lab girl who will ask me if I have something for migraines. The answer is NO. You know the rules- sneak it from home.

Many bring lots of stuff from home. Psychiatric meds (definitely not allowed in a war zone). I couldn't get my Vitamins through Dubai. What orifice were these placed in to get through Xray? We will find out when you flip your cookies, (thank you for playing and home you go). Unfortunately, everyone brings something. I was sick with Gastroenteritis (more popularly known as Stomach flu) and was offered a pill for a cold and it would help me sleep and brighten my complexion. I replied that there was nothing wrong with my skin, thank you very much! WTH? Nice to offer the medic pills. I wonder if that requires reciprocation?

If you don't bring it from home, changes are that you may obtain it from the Bazaar. These are cute little local stores run by Afghani's set up in containers, (commonly seen on the back of semi trucks). Most of the medications are expired by 10 years and they've been rumored to poison the cartons of cigarettes, but at 4 bucks a pop- who cares! That's right...cigarettes are cheap, cheap here, so smoke 'em up! And if that won't kill you, you can also buy some hadji's pot that will send you into Cardiac Arrest. It happened just one time and the guys stopped buying it for a short time- go figure.

I love my patients, but it is approaching the end of my contract. I can hardly wait. I had decided not to return...then a higher up talked me into signing for another year- I figured WTH? I'll give it a shot. Then I was denied a second year contract by another higher up...more games- does anyone communicate? So I did the travel plans and sent them to the said boss for approval, ( certain they would sign and I would be home in a jiffy). But NO! I sit and wait, and wait and wait. How to say, I don't want to play with you anymore? I think I hear my Mommy calling me....

Good grief, if this keeps up my last blog will be a doozy!