Another fun thing that I got to do while home was go to court. I experienced the judical system first hand. I'd love to say I went hog wild and ended up in jail trading quips with my best friend in a nearby cell, but that might have happened many years ago and fortunately did not. I instead had the boring obligation of going to testify as a witness. The court was happy that I happened to be home to do this proud honor. I was happy to do my part in seeing justice done.
I arrived early with a book that I read halfway through as I sat and waited for 3 hours. (justice takes time). Then we went into the courtroom to wait for another half hour, (that I'm sure is done purposely to make the criminals sweat it out). Thankfully the judge swept in and invited us to stay in our seats, (after all of that time my knees had locked up and a graceful standing was not to be had). The prosecutor gave his schmeal and then the lawyer for the perp expounded her crapola. I was immediately called to the witness stand. I swore to God to tell the truth, sat daintily and was then ripped to shreads by the perps lawyer. The judge kept reminding me to "just answer the questions", but I ask you...How do you answer questions when someone is relentlessly attacking you? I got my point across and without stooping to her level ... I'm proud to anounced that I never told the female lawyer how downtown tacky her hooker stockings were.
Thankfully the judge...although he remarked that I was a "hostile witness and the court did not appreciate it", (imagine that!), believed me and bound the angry nut over for trial. It was an exasting day! It nearly made me miss Afghanistan.
