I've reached a new high with stomach pains. Everyone's got it and not one had food poisoning. I just love how they first research it on the internet then come and ask for their favorite remedy. It makes my life so much easier- NOT. What do you think you don't need an exam? That's why I'm here. Now allow me to exert my expertise. You're probably wrong anyways!
Rare exception...a guy came in for antibiotics for a cough. He stated that he had Bronchitis. My buddy's patient until he called me over. I thought he said, "son of a ___", I think he does have it!" So I was asked to listen to lung sounds and I said, wheezes, rhonchi- sounds like Bronchitis. Poor fellow, you don't get eggroll with Bronchitis and you don't get antibiotics either...Thank you for playing, "Guess Your Diagnosis!"
Now back to stomach pain... super body builder with an achy gut who pops tons of all natural good for you supplements. Note, they're only good to line the makers pockets. Take a little, get little results, take a lot and see results quicker. Don't you believe it! That massness of pills is tearing a hole in his gut or it could be gallstones. Not pleasnt either way! And it makes for syrupy, beer looking pee that smells nasty! I would not want that coming out of me. The results is a cleaning out of the gastro system and x-nay of the vitamins-ay.
Period cramps are always my favorite. At least this young lady was good enough to tell me that the bare naked PX was out of her Midol. So she had to do the bent over bob and waddle over to see us. Truth is a good thing. Quick check later complete with a urine & pregnancy test, (you can never be too careful in celebacy-land) and wha- la! Menstrual pain- here's your meds, Bye- bye!
Or the one that had shots a week ago and now has stomach pain. First, no live vaccine was given. Second, no fever, no redness, no vomiting. Nice try! Get off the internet! You have a virus like everyone else.
Next up was retching and puking- oh my! It was almost enough to ask him to move over, I'm feeling ill. Turns out it was a fate close to death...the dreaded migrane- not stomach pain after all. Sorrowful for his pain and load him up with all we have. Researchers don't know why migraines happen or how to cure them. We do the best that we can do. I let him sleep in my very dark room until he could make his way to his. He was very greatful. I can now say I had a guy in my room! Too bad I have children older than him. Too funny!
So that's was a day in the clinic. Hope you had as much fun as I did!
