Pox, poop and other stuff (Mon 12/19/2011)

   Well, not to sound smug or anything...but there's a Chicken Pox outbreak at the big base. Not that anyone wanted to help us out with a plan to attack and contain. No! So we are sending the hard worked out plan that Casey stayed up all night to write up and I hope he gets a pat on the back. He's a good hardworking guy! Now I just wish he'd get his ass back here and take care of Poxsville. Don't worry Casey. I'm handling it. And I better not get Chicken Pox. (You did say I had them as a kid- right Mom?)

    The boss called and asked if we wanted anything from the big base. HO! Ho! That's a loaded question. How about some respect and kind words. If you can't give me that, how about some Varicella vaccine. Oops, none to be had. Oh well, nothing for me.

Today, I spent the day collecting poop and testing. Fun for all! That and the paperwork is really making my day. Someone, somewhere at sometime had better come in really sick pretty soon or I am going to scream! I am not made for secretarial work. That's why I choose the classy career of Paramedics. They get to sleep in between calls and sometimes that's all night! We can sneak into the drive-in and most outdoor events and everybody thinks your job is cool. I hear, what's the worse call that you've  ever had, like we're some kind of saints. Actually, the worse call I ever had is not the one you want to hear about. It's the one where I did everything right and they still bit the dust! Not that I'm complaining here. And It's not like I actually have to go fetch the poop myself. It's just that Paramedics don't do poop and they certainly don't need to type. But, I can say that my typing is coming along. I can type fairly accurately with my left hand and I'm still pecking away with my right.

    But I can research! I was working on a new surface for the Operating Room and Triage floors with the construction team. It's got to be stuff that is on hand, because the Pakistan border is closed, (the trucked in route for some supplies) and to order stuff to use would take 6 months.  I can't wait to see if they use my idea. I also worked out a plan for giving oral presentations on hand washing.   A huge deal here because a little cut one day turns into major surgery the next. So, I give my speech first to the Dining hall and then...the world! Ha! Ha! I'm keeping myself busy. The little social butterfly at her best! Not to sound smug or anything.                 

Compassion for itchers (Sat 12/17/2011)

    While you  are all getting ready for Christmas, I am having my own kind of fun. It's Chicken Pox at the ol' base. Too many kids here did not get their shots and now will be isolated for 4- 10 days. Well, it's actually only one guy with actual pox, but he's been doing the chicken dance around here for 2 weeks spreading these little gifts to his buddy's who also did not get shots, so they will all suffer. These buggers are extremely contagious. Since there is no space anywhere, they get confined to their rooms for the time. We've had to arrange for food, showers, bathroom time, laundry, and funtime (so they don't go stir crazy), and we now make house calls. Wait, wait, wait...not me. They happen to be all men. Go fiqure. No women allowed in male tents. Thankfully our guy medic is on the ball. He has had to write guidelines on how to handle this mess and he did a fabulous job- though I did help a little. I'm the research queen!

    So last night after doing research on every patient that I've had thus far- because it's Afghanistan and no one just gets the sniffles, I went to feed at the trough- (good word, doesn't that make me sound very tired?). It's Friday! Steak Day! And also seafood day: Lobster, Crab legs, Shrimp, Scallops and MY FAVORITE!! Don't my family know it. We always have some seafood for Christmas and special events... and I'm so allergic. But they really take care of the food here. If you lose weight, it was only because of the extreme effort and sacrifice on your part. So I got my steak and I thought about trying just a little crab legs (No, No, No) just to see if I'm still allergic here too, when all of a sudden the cook puts scallops on my plate. I have never broken out from scallops before and they are the poor man's lobster, so how could something so cheap sounding be so bad for you- right? They where wonderfully breaded and deep fried and it was only 4 (giant) scallops. So I furtively stashed away with my bounty. I looked at them through most of the meal before I took a little bite and chewed....nothing. And swallowed.. I waited for 5 minutes for the familiar ear itch that let me know that I screwed up again...nothing. We all know how this story ends... after 2 scallops, the ear itch started and I stopped. By the time I got back to the office, the rash started. I took myself off to dreamland with my 2 little pink pills full of renewed sensitivity and compassion for my fellow itcher in time and a reminder to never do that again.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!