Merry all the way....from Lagman... From Maria‏

All the best for you over this Christmas time... and my wish... DON'T WASTE THE CHRISTMAS PUDDNG!!!!!
 
 
Maria, Allan & Marilette

Merry Christmas!!

 It's Christmas Eve in Afghanistan and I was feeling a little bah humbug about it. It's the same day here everyday...Ground Hog Day. I stumbled into the Christmas Eve service at the Chapel, late as usual. We sang Christmas carols and prayed and praised the Lord. Then something amazing happened. As I listened, there were no missile attacks, no gunfire, no helicopters overhead. Just peace and harmony and brotherhood. There were also no loved ones and no presents to open. Just the sound of a congregation praising Jesus for his wonderful gift of peace between us and God so that we may have eternal life with him. And as I looked around the chapel at all of the faces illuminated by candlelight (firesticks), the pastor asked us to pause and reflect and remember this moment.... and I realized the wonderous gifts that I had been given in my life: People that believe as I do and that are sharing this day with me praising Christ in a far off adventure and a muslim country to boot- Ha! Afghanistan. The loved ones, friends and family that wait for me back home and that pray for my health and happiness and support anything that I do no matter how crazy it is- like going to Afghanistan and Cambodia and Timbuktu when I get there. Thank you for that! I love you too! I will never get another moment as this in appreciation for my life and loves and sharing the love of Christ and the day of his birth with strangers brought together by his amazing love. Those are my gifts. What a special once in a lifetime Christmas. Memories that I will cherish forever. Now go have yourself a loving Merry Christmas!                      

Who don't do that? Friday 12/23/11

Just when I thought I had enough...I woke to 17 below zero today and we don't have heat in our tent. I want to sing that ol' song..." Who needs heat when we have each other".  Have you heard of that ditty?  NO!?  Because I just made it up.  I'm freezing!  So what, I'm from Michigan and I should be used to it.  Who by golly gets use to the freezing cold?  And there's no one here to snuggle up to anyway.  I'm in a mood today.  I thought to go to the DFAC (chow hall) and cozy up to someone, but it was warm in there and I got hungry and ate, then I was comfortable and had a delicious chocolate chip cookie all warm and gooey, and then I got sleepy.  So, I wandered back, forgetting I was going back to the North Pole - (well, turn left and stop halfway to the equator.)  Now I'm back in the arctic tent with icicles hanging from my face...Ha!  You thought I would say from my nose - girls don't do that.  Girls also don't fart or leave an odor in the bathroom especially when they're there an extended length of time... (hint- light a match.) Girls don't burp or make underarm noise.  Go ask your wife or significant other...I can wait.  I'm in a mood.  I'm in Afghanistan.  I have nothing but time to wait and freeze to death.  Here I thought the Taliban would get me...oh no.  I'm screwed down in the cold.  This poor little Michigan girl is going to be done in by the Afghan winter.  I can hear the laughter now....no one does it better than Maria!

 Now that I've had time to feel sorry for myself and vent, I am going to commit to being thankful for what I do have.  For one, that I brought a coat, scarf, mittens and long johns (I am from Michigan after all and our motto is, Be prepared for the cold!)  I stood outside, (smoking of course), and watching as the locals came on base with their blankets wrapped around them.  No coats or any kind of warm clothing.  HR was good enough to donate hats to them.  I went to buy mittens or something warm for them, but there's nothing to be had. Everything flew off the shelf the minute the temperature dropped and with no supplies flying in due to weather...

For two, that I have my family, friends and readers to be thankful for. Thank you for supporting me through my travels in Afghanistan. I hope that I make the reading interesting and worthwhile. Merry Christmas to all of you!

Speaking of worthwhile...I started a hand washing campaign.  It's in response to some nasty infections in tiny wounds that we've been getting in the clinic.  It's amazing how fast gangrene can sink in. No one comes to the clinic until something is ready to fall off.  They think they will be sent home.  Well, guess what? Not only will you get sent home for being stupid and letting the infection set it, but you will be leaving without parts too. Try and pick your nose now! (girls don't do that either).

So in the spirit of Christmas, I have included my campaign pictures...Nobody does it better! Include these as your Happy New Years Eve party favors and ...

 Wash your hands!  (Girls do this...they also dance and karaoke!)

Merry Christmas!

Feel free to comment or write to me at angeltwins1@hotmail.com

 

                                               

Pox and other stuff

Gang! I wrote this for the company newsletter, but it may get dumped because I'm just a goof. I'll try to do serious another day, so check it out!              

In the countryside of Afghanistan on a quiet night on FOB Lagman all heck broke loose when a little guy from Indian walked through our clinic door. He said he was itching and felt sick with fever. His boss that came with him said,” It looks to me to be Chicken Pox.”  Now why did I spend all that money on education?  His boss was right!  So, we started our battle against Varicella Zoster.

With Casey as our fearless leader who stayed up all night writing a plan of attack and containment we gathered all potential clients who may have been exposed either by shared living quarters or by shared ventilation.  We came up with 17 contestants that were not thrilled about what they might have won.  Oops!  There were 16-one got away to KAF before we knew about it!

Next, each snatched a screening questionnaire - like it might get them out of homeroom, that asked about recent illness or blister like rashes and if they got the vaccine or had a history of  Chicken Pox. You guessed it - they all said they had them as a child in relief.  Fortunately, the 8 DynCorp employees really did have proof of their shots and were spared the horror of 2 weeks of isolation. We don’t use the word quarantine around here as that might cause a panic - like “Chicken Pox” wasn’t enough to cause them to run in horror.

We were then left to contain 7 non-DynCorp men and as space is a problem everywhere, they were left in their separate rooms.  Thankfully, we only had to daily monitor 2 of the men who had travelled together and had recently arrived to Lagman.  With only one with active pox a plan was made to see not only to his disease process, but also his daily basic needs.

Special thanks needs to be given to the many on Lagman that helped during this difficult period:

Jason, “boss man”, who pitched in and gathered meals for “Pox Ville” as the guys like to call themselves.

 Thanks to the cooperation of all the DFAC workers and especially Supervisor L who gave special permission for take-out food.

Billeting, the PAX terminal, the cleaning crew (Ecolog), the library who generously donated activities and books that they knew they would never see again, (decon darling) HVAC and Electrical crews that came running when the isolation tent lost power.  To all the men and women who stayed out of the way (and out of the guys only “private time” facility), I humbly thank you all.

To the FST Military men and women who gave their valuable resources, (the washer and dryer for bleaching clothes and linens) and donating replacement items for our detainee…very appreciated.

Lastly, I’d like to give a standing ovation to Camp Lagman who proved that “We Are Family!”

We are the proud DynCorp Medics: Casey, Marilette and Anna “Maria” who make it happen!

                            

Pox, poop and other stuff (Mon 12/19/2011)

   Well, not to sound smug or anything...but there's a Chicken Pox outbreak at the big base. Not that anyone wanted to help us out with a plan to attack and contain. No! So we are sending the hard worked out plan that Casey stayed up all night to write up and I hope he gets a pat on the back. He's a good hardworking guy! Now I just wish he'd get his ass back here and take care of Poxsville. Don't worry Casey. I'm handling it. And I better not get Chicken Pox. (You did say I had them as a kid- right Mom?)

    The boss called and asked if we wanted anything from the big base. HO! Ho! That's a loaded question. How about some respect and kind words. If you can't give me that, how about some Varicella vaccine. Oops, none to be had. Oh well, nothing for me.

Today, I spent the day collecting poop and testing. Fun for all! That and the paperwork is really making my day. Someone, somewhere at sometime had better come in really sick pretty soon or I am going to scream! I am not made for secretarial work. That's why I choose the classy career of Paramedics. They get to sleep in between calls and sometimes that's all night! We can sneak into the drive-in and most outdoor events and everybody thinks your job is cool. I hear, what's the worse call that you've  ever had, like we're some kind of saints. Actually, the worse call I ever had is not the one you want to hear about. It's the one where I did everything right and they still bit the dust! Not that I'm complaining here. And It's not like I actually have to go fetch the poop myself. It's just that Paramedics don't do poop and they certainly don't need to type. But, I can say that my typing is coming along. I can type fairly accurately with my left hand and I'm still pecking away with my right.

    But I can research! I was working on a new surface for the Operating Room and Triage floors with the construction team. It's got to be stuff that is on hand, because the Pakistan border is closed, (the trucked in route for some supplies) and to order stuff to use would take 6 months.  I can't wait to see if they use my idea. I also worked out a plan for giving oral presentations on hand washing.   A huge deal here because a little cut one day turns into major surgery the next. So, I give my speech first to the Dining hall and then...the world! Ha! Ha! I'm keeping myself busy. The little social butterfly at her best! Not to sound smug or anything.                 

Compassion for itchers (Sat 12/17/2011)

    While you  are all getting ready for Christmas, I am having my own kind of fun. It's Chicken Pox at the ol' base. Too many kids here did not get their shots and now will be isolated for 4- 10 days. Well, it's actually only one guy with actual pox, but he's been doing the chicken dance around here for 2 weeks spreading these little gifts to his buddy's who also did not get shots, so they will all suffer. These buggers are extremely contagious. Since there is no space anywhere, they get confined to their rooms for the time. We've had to arrange for food, showers, bathroom time, laundry, and funtime (so they don't go stir crazy), and we now make house calls. Wait, wait, wait...not me. They happen to be all men. Go fiqure. No women allowed in male tents. Thankfully our guy medic is on the ball. He has had to write guidelines on how to handle this mess and he did a fabulous job- though I did help a little. I'm the research queen!

    So last night after doing research on every patient that I've had thus far- because it's Afghanistan and no one just gets the sniffles, I went to feed at the trough- (good word, doesn't that make me sound very tired?). It's Friday! Steak Day! And also seafood day: Lobster, Crab legs, Shrimp, Scallops and MY FAVORITE!! Don't my family know it. We always have some seafood for Christmas and special events... and I'm so allergic. But they really take care of the food here. If you lose weight, it was only because of the extreme effort and sacrifice on your part. So I got my steak and I thought about trying just a little crab legs (No, No, No) just to see if I'm still allergic here too, when all of a sudden the cook puts scallops on my plate. I have never broken out from scallops before and they are the poor man's lobster, so how could something so cheap sounding be so bad for you- right? They where wonderfully breaded and deep fried and it was only 4 (giant) scallops. So I furtively stashed away with my bounty. I looked at them through most of the meal before I took a little bite and chewed....nothing. And swallowed.. I waited for 5 minutes for the familiar ear itch that let me know that I screwed up again...nothing. We all know how this story ends... after 2 scallops, the ear itch started and I stopped. By the time I got back to the office, the rash started. I took myself off to dreamland with my 2 little pink pills full of renewed sensitivity and compassion for my fellow itcher in time and a reminder to never do that again.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!            

I'm back!

I work in a clinic where we do Occupational Medicine, which means sick and injured at work folks. Nobody's dying in our clinic. It's a different line of work for me. We examine the patient and give them medication or whatever. I stumbled around a bit at first because I had to learn to downshift the care that I'm used to giving.
 Tonight, just when I was going to bed, a mass causalty came in to the Army hospital. We got a page, "need extra hands." (excitement coursed my veins) I don't want to be glad about others pain, but medically speaking- hurray!!! This is what I came for. It was Afghani's in a car accident and I am so sorry to say that one is dying from incredible head trauma. He will be sent to lie in wait with his loved ones at his side. (I'm so sorry for him and for his family) No visitors here. This is a very secured facility.
I was able to finally put my talents to work. I was not fumbling Maria in the ER. I did what I do best! I got to cut off clothes in record time and it was even remarked on. I heard some soldier say, how'd she do that? I said, practice, lots of practice (wink). I was able to calm a patient as they worked on him. This is a talent that the Lord gave me like no other and I will boost in his glory because I can! And I still have my IV skills. It's just like riding a bike. No one could get this one kid and I was feeling around without a tournique and blocking with my hand and I asked if I could give it a try...BAM! First try! The Michigan medic at her best. (The crowd roared! Ok it was all in my head, but I still got it.) Actually, I would have strung up the rope myself and jumped if I had missed or hid myself under a huge rock for the rest of my contract if I had embarassed myself. Please don't tell me that I can get bilateral lines in minutes in a rocking, bumpy, going 80mph ambulance and I can't get a line on a patient lying in a bed. We do have days when we miss and I thank the good Lord today was not one of those days. The stuff I saw was really amazing. I equate it to watching Nascar as they change the tires in seconds, so did the team work on these patients as one unit and they were generous to make room for the new girl. They performed exams, X rays, IV's, wound care and bandaging, put bones back in place, so many things and I just hopped right in and grabbed stuff and assisted and knew what was needed next. For a change, I was in my element. I watched while a man's acetabulum was set back in place or (in plain english), his thigh was out of the hip socket and it was popped back in place back by 2 doctors and a nurse, not an easy feat. The pop as it went back in was like a champagne cork. I saw some amazing stitching and so intricate and quick. This emergency room is just that; ER, surgery, (stabilization at it's best), and then the patients go elsewhere to other hospitals for further care and recuperate. We were done with 5-6 critical patients in an hour and out they went. Amazing. It's just what I needed to get my groove back. Can I scream out Thank you Jesus just one more time!

Give me a hand

My first patient from FOB "The little city that could" has been a nail biter. He came in with pain to his little finger, possible joint pain, after enduring it for 3-4 days. (#1. Why don't people seek treatment day  one?)  At first, it looked to be a strain. Maybe he bent his finger back and then slept on it, and then did it for 3 more days. (It could happen!) He had no breaks in his skin, so it couldn't be an infection- right? I looked through different magnifying glasses on different days looking for something that would give me a clue to what is happening to his hand. He kept coming back day after day...swelling increased, more pain...

Right in the middle of my storytelling electrical comes in and states they will be shutting off the power city wide....Stay tuned! With the power off, I type in the dark. See how dedicated I am to my task!

To continue, we are lucky here with Military resources. What great guys! We should not take advantage of their kindness, but occasionally they will have mercy on us and do an X- ray on our patients. So it was. We had my patient X-rayed. No breaks, nothing showing up and nothing like a dislocation. So I treat him according to what I see, muscle strain. I spoke with the patient and it seems as if he wants to go home. Sometimes that happens that the workers will come in for a fake complaint to go home. So go home! No one is keeping anyone against their will. It may be an issue of saving face- I don't know. Please just leave. We get paid here. We are not in chains. This patient has a little baby and a youngster at home and has been home once already and hasn't been here that long. But he is not faking an illness.  Still I view his hand and it's now swollen and turned black. (WTH?) We again truck over to the military for a second opinion and that Dr. is perplexed as well. The recommendation is to try him on antibiotics for an internal infection of unknown origin. The doc here approves that. This is keeping me up nights. I have done so much research and studying of different diseases. I worry for the poor patient, eventhough I can't be sure what his angle is and he tells me that I have 2 days to fix him. (Yeah, OK...). Today, we are finally making headway. His hand looks better. Yeah! Only in Afghanistan... My success is short lived...  Another patient walks in with discoloration to his hand. Maybe it's something else. What is this crap? Disease is rampant here in Afghanistan and you just never know what you will find...Unbelieveable!

The little city that could (12/12/11)

Today is day 3 of my new assignment. This base is old and run down. It was never meant to be a permanent base, but here we are. It totally explains why there are few bathrooms or nice showers. The base just grew without any growth in the frivolities- if that's what you want to call the shit-er. I had originally nicknamed it hell hole. Today it's a beautiful day. Overnight, the stars shine brightly, (there are rarely clouds overhead) and it's so dark here at night, with a crispness that fills the air. The solar eclipse that you were viewing last night was the same one that I saw and it brought me closer to home. I could call this place quaint, but no. It's filled with cement blocks 10 feet tall and hescos, (walls made of burlap and wire filled with sand- an excellent bullet barrier, 12 feet high). So I think this is "The little city that could." It could___, fill in the blanks. Current temperatures are 25 as the night time low and during the day it gets up to 60, so we peel it off layer by layer. No rain or snow as of yet, but I hear that it's a-coming.

I'm in the mountains. I don't do heights, but I figured anything once. I love it! The view is incredible. Everywhere you look is something else spectacular. Still no trees, but I heard there's an abundance of green and poppies after the rainy season. The air is so clean. I still have the Kandahar crud stuffing up my sinuses, but it's slowly going away... and I can breath here! We have a city nearby that we overlook and even that is very interesting with it's palaces contrasting with the slums and the mosques and the busyness of the place. I only wish that I could stroll down there and get some hummus and fresh pita bread. I still have no idea what city it is, but I understand that the drug Lords are paid well to leave us alone.  It's a place where you wish you were a photographer and then realize that you're not suppose to post photos anyway.

 I have taken so many pictures of all of the places that I've seen and people that I've met. Unfortunately, I am always the waterfalls when it's time to leave those places. Tears just fall. You get so close to people here. They become your family. You trust them blindly and develop these bonds that feel as if you've known them forever and you can't ever imagine a day without them. And then it's time to move on. I can already tell that I'm in such a place. I have my own room in a tent with 3 other girls- it holds 10 people (maybe that's why we don't get heat...why waste it on us 3.) The girls were most welcoming and set me up with clean sheets and a small tour of our immediate area. We are considerate of each other. Rarely are there people who will two-face you here and I'm counting on the TCN's to get even with those because they are treated worse by those same people. What's acceptable in one culture... you never know. ..you really have to watch your P's & Q's sometimes.

For example, I'm here with Romanians this time. Very virile, horn toad guys. Must remember to steer clear of them on my midnight runs in my jammies. Their female soldiers wear dangling earrings and don't have rifles- hum? Very few Bosnians but I have found some. There's also Afghani's and some Arabs. AND there is also a huge population of Michiganders... about 8 of us! Almost enough for egg roll, (with 12 you get egg roll, get it?) It's different here versus the southern region,  because in the north they like Americans and do not like the Taliban. 

We walk, no vehicles here. There's only a few trucks and some heavy machinery. So,  I'm counting on losing some poundage here. My body better not turn on me and accommodate for all of this walking. I think that I should get something out of all these miles that I huff everyday. Never you mind that I should eat better. Those damn nutrition guides are posted everywhere. Just when I'd like a bit of pecan pie, I must reach over the calorie counter to get at it and it reminds me enough to skip it this once. However it did not work today. My favorite, chocolate chip cookies were on the menu and I saw them from way across the hall- yum!  So I grabbed just one. As I left the DFAC, I took a good sized bite to find...raisins- WTH??? YUK! Nothing is worse that expecting chocolate and getting something healthy. Who sabotaged that I might ask? Some health nut wizard chef would be my answer.  So, I guess I will go and check out my surroundings and enjoy the last snow free day. The wind is blowing...here it comes. Forecast for tomorrow is snow!


 

                                               

Another day in ... (12/11/11)

This is not just another day in hell hole....

First I met up with another women my age- wow! Rare...most of the people here are..ummm- not my age. I was just thinking that maybe I was too old for this job. Thanks to GI Joe, I'm having second thoughts. I should've resorted to the old Maria and just told him to "F" off. That always made me feel better. But it's a new day and a new Maria and I am pleased to say that it feels really good to be nice all of the time....even when my teeth are clenched!

 My palate was discombobulated from my recent encounter with GI Joe and it left a bad taste in my mouth, so I haven't been running around thanking them for their service. Today, I happened upon some soldiers by the smoking tent, except these guys had unfamiliar uniforms on. I was checking them out, (wink!) when I realized that they were in the Navy. I stuck up a conversation and told them all about my sister and uncle who also served in the Navy. We discussed 911 and the World Trade Center and they told me of some of their stories...well guess what? I had some stories to tell back! Yes! This is the reason I came here, the adventure! So as we parted company I said from the heart, "Thank you for your service!" (and thank you for reminding me that most soldiers are the good guys)

We are getting split up. Oh No!!! I'm just getting used to my new team and off one goes. And they would take the one that I go to chow with. The powers that be said they wanted a guy. This has got to be a first. Guys are a dime a dozen here. There's a woman behind every tree- and no trees- ha, ha, ha! So for once I get to stay. Not that I'm happy about that. It's still freezing in my tent, but good news is that I still have my heavy duty sleeping bag. I just can't get out of the sucker in the morning. I put on what clothes that I can and hold my breath...(I was thinking this morning as I was doing it- just why am I holding my breath? If you don't see your breath or the frost, is it still as cold?)

And another thing happened. Some guys came to get me to see if I wanted some furniture that was getting tossed. I'm touched that they thought of me. People are so nice here. I guess I will have to think of a new name for this place. So out with hell hole in with.... stay tuned!



 

                                               

We're going to get you my pretty!

Oh-oh....My time is up here, time to go. My buddy's at the last base told the powers that be that they wanted me to stay there. I knew it! They would immediately re-assign me and they did. I was out the next morning!
I was with a patient and heard someone looking for me. I am truly blessed that I went and asked about it, (after I had finished with the patient- damn why didn't I play ignorance?). No one said a word. I asked a some guy that was just passing thru for the day...".Was someone looking for me?" He looked back with a blank stare and then the flashbulb popped over his head. Yes! There was someone- (Let's name her), Tinker Bell ,(originally named Pinocchio girl but, I got my trunk that she sent right away), was looking for me! So off I went in a search and find mission...and she said that I will be leaving in one hour! WTH? I rush to pack...forget finishing my patient paperwork.  And I did not have time to say a proper good- bye to the greatest team in history... and for what? To go to sit at the military airport for 4 hrs waiting for a flight. Thank God for Larry who I met right away and we whittled the time away talking and watching CNN and occasionally reading.
 So off we went to the plane...and we rode and we drove...We pull up to meet the plane to find out that it too will be late. The soldiers then take us to lunch- nice guys!
The plane finally comes and I'm looking at all of the stuff that will be transported: our stuff, tires, whole blood on ice that has melted- I hope that was not meant for our guys. The transport was very comfy and I slept. I felt the plane move and it glided. I recall thinking as I fell asleep that it was the smoothest plane ride that I ever had. As I was gently snoring away, (honest!), the plane took an upward climb- rudely awakening me, I slid to the next seat- belted and all. The Army guys were having a good laugh and me being a good sport..I smiled back.
As were landing at who knows where... that had no protective wall... I thought, this is interesting. The soldiers fixed their weapons, staring out the windows as we landed. I asked Larry over the tremendous plane noise, "should I be afraid". He said, "I don't know. I've never seen this happen before". The soldiers hesitantly got off the plane all crouched down-like , ready to shoot and they told us not to move until the cargo was moved. Well, half way thru that, it was- "hurry up, get off the plane". We got off looking around...where to go? No transportation in site and this Sergeant person yells at me, " Load your gear princess, there's no bellhops here to do it for you." Do I have the "pick on me" sticker on my forehead? So we all furiously dump our stuff into a golf cart for one. And the sarg guy starts screaming," move it! Move your ass! And he yells, I wouldn't be running around without your helmets and your Kevlar, (bullet proof vest), if I was you." So we stop long enough to throw it over our heads, (forget strapping anything down). Then off we go again running for our lives. Now I'm looking to see where on earth I am. What I see is locals sitting down the hill with soldiers pointing their rifles at them.
I'm in the middle of nowhere. I was dropped off at a special forces base outside of the wire. I had to climb to a very high flat bed truck to go to safety with my vest and helmet on and armed soldiers pointing at the Taliban-ish people. An army sergeant yelled at me to," get my ass up there", he said, "you are in the middle of a war zone- didn't you know that princess?" I said," yeah I knew" and  "I've been threatened by the ANA without a weapon and if I get killed, I don't get one of those shiny medals that you get and besides I'm old enough to be your mother" and "I am here of my own freewill, How old are you anyway sweetheart?" He shut his mouth after that!  So I climb up to the very high flatbed truck with rotted vegetation that I get to sit on. WTH! I really expected this treatment the first week, not 2 1/2 months into my contract. Off we go to another small base with the flatbed swaying to and fro threatening to throw us off and us hanging onto dear life. It was the end of a very long day...O- O-HO, Not yet!

Once at the tiny base, "mouth-o" gets going again. He immediately assigns the 2 guys to a tent and off they go. And he assigns the other girl to the only female room left- and off she goes...and I say,"where do I go?" Sarge says, "How the hell do I know? What are you anyway?" I said, "I'm a medic". He tells me to go to see the camp medic and maybe they can put you up. I go to reach for my bags, and off he goes again..."Leave your bags....Go, Go, Go" Jeez, some people are just wrapped way too tight. At this point we are alone so, I thank my lucky stars that he didn't thrash me or whatever it is the military does to back talkers.

 At the tiny base, which is wonderful by the way...I know the medic here. I met him one week ago and he takes control and care of me and everything. What a sweetheart! God provides, thank you very much! Everyone is so nice! They hook me up with a private room and a bathroom and shower, (with hot running water in the same building)- oh my! Chow hall is a short jaunt away with great food and happy servers. Everyone comes up and introduces themselves and are so pleasant...I love it! I think I may have stumbled in with the "Stepford Wives". I never want to leave here. I'm so happy to walk thru hell to get to heaven!

Can I stay here? Oh No...not if you like it you don't! Off I go to my original point of destination. They show me to the shit hole that I will be sleeping in for the rest of my contract and to the bathroom, (neither are heated and it's 30 degrees here), a mile away and all I can think of is... fodder for my next blog! TA, TA!

                                               

LABELS

I went shopping on the Boardwalk today and was all set to tell of my experience, went I heard a label that was placed on a medic here. I'm so pissed off that I can't think straight! That is one thing I hate- LABELS!
Stop and think... What exactly does a label do? It's never said around the person being spoken of. In fact, it is always said behind their back in whispers like the mealy mouth coward that these people are. Is it meant to be funny? Are people expected to laugh at their wit? No! It makes them look mean and asinine. Maybe they should eat the shit they spew. What if the Poo Pond is here for all the little labelers here. Yes! That's a great idea, then I wouldn't have to hear it or smell it! Does labeling make you above it all? Their superiority has shrunk to below zero in the listeners eyes. In fact, it has an opposite effect in making them look juvenile, jealous, hurtful and below human. What do you think would happen if the person- who's usually very nice- would feel if they happened upon the said name calling? The medic here was called Man-gela, who's gone now. Being muscular added to the mystique and was...enough to kick the nasty guy's ass that called her that. Unfortunately he heard it from a nasty girl here who thinks she's above labels, but unfortunately she is not. She has been called many things and maybe deserves her labels, but who's gets to be the judge?  And his friend, who happens to be my southern belle buddy, was also called a Man-gela. I immediately put a stop to that in such a nice way that I never heard it repeated again. Today I'm tired and have no patience for any assholes. I told him that it wasn't very nice. He replied...that's what everyone was calling her. Everyone who? I did not say any such thing. Am I no one? What box am I in? So it goes in "The World According to KAF." There are little people and there are the big people. I can not be one of those that stands idly by...never could. So where is my box? What is my label? Oh yeah..I'm the Twins and I wear that label proudly on my chest. Or that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Don't work your Life

Everyone should be evaluated for their job type. I think that would make a career so much more satisfying. There is a theory that says there's people that "like stuff" and then there's people that "like people." Most of us fall in between these groups.
              STUFF__________________________/______________________________ PEOPLE

 The people that "like stuff" totally end up as accountant's, mechanics, and such. Total "people persons" end up as

doctor's and medics, etc. Everyone else falls between this. If you dislike your job or make others unhappy at your job, maybe you picked the wrong side. This is the mini lecture that we got today. I like people and I like to tinker. Those are that talents I claim. I like to macrame', crochet, I like to take things apart and put them back together. I like crafts and cooking. I like to read and hang out with my buddy's. And I found that I like to write.
Today, I watched the talents of others here. We just got an ex-marine corpsman/medic that weaves anything. He's making me a bracelet. Weaving sounds so much manlier than macrame'. That's what it looks like to me. But, I'm not going to say a word.

I want my marine woven bracelet.
Then there's a women who picks up stones from the ground here. There's no shortage of those. She actually has a tumbler to clean them. This takes weeks to perfect. She then takes them home when she goes on vacation, and her husband drills holes with his tiny drill bit so that she can use them as you would beads in macrame' or knitting. I have promised to teach her to crochet- far easier than knitting! Her crafts and stones are amazing!
I believe that it's the secret to keeping yourself together here. You must take "ME" time.The people that have outside interest just seem like they are doing a job and go home. They are happier, friendlier and have fun. They are fun to be with and calm. Their life does not revolve around 12 hour work days or missile attacks or dirty everything. Everything just rolls off of them. The ones that work, eat and go to bed are lacking. It gets monotonous and it shows. The complain, whine. Everything at home is a tragedy.
 Today we were in the bunkers and I took a good look around..instead of taking cover... oh well...it didn't hit anywhere close to me- and a couple of guys were talking about their hobbies. One rebuilds cars. No cars here, I thought. He makes his plans here based on the cars he bought when home. So, when he goes home for a couple of weeks, he knows the plan and gets them together quickly. He does his Internet searches, buys parts, draws it out...it was fascinating listening to him.

Another is clearing land and building a house. I've seen him at work pouring over his plans and lots of drawings.
 An adorable young man that is so adventurous goes kayak fishing in the Gulf of Mexico and scuba on the reefs of Hawaii and he longs for more adventure here. Being in Afghanistan is not adventurous enough? He bought a bike and tools around all over the city and shares the sites of the day. He plans his adventures well in advance and researches the area just like he's going tomorrow. He's fabulous!
 I hear from everyone," when I get home." Some people really have a goal and a life. Some do not. We have a new girl that mopes and whines about everything. I feel sorrow for her. They are pushing her to new heights and she thinks she's the only one that has ever suffered. She really believes everyone has gone down easy street here. I know that she will not last however hard we try to make her life easier and it almost seems like a waste of time. I can not believe that some think everything should be just like it is at home. We are in the middle of a war zone.
Another man just left, he couldn't cut it. He hated the missile attacks. He couldn't understand the computer programs that they use. He didn't understand the patient care that we do. He started out as fun and quickly circled the drain. You just never know. I don't know how I make it seem like Funsville, but you have to believe in God and tomorrow...or I do or I would scream! How is it again that people survive without faith?
The statistics is 1 out of 10 stay in country. There is isolation, being away from your family and friends, Missile attacks and it's not much fun being on some of the bases when the Taliban actually gets on base and they have ground attacks. Also, Afghanistan has the distinction of having the #1 most rabies in the world, so forget about pets. YIKES! It is a slightly different way of life...you work 12 hours and go to bed, to awake and do it again, 7 days a week. It is truly a Ground Hog's Day! But, life is what you make of it. I want my life to count for something. I enjoy living. I really enjoy this job and supporting our troops.

Give me my Internet!!! 12/4/11

Once again no Internet. In a war zone... why should we think we're entitled? We are dependant on it for communication to our loved ones and oh yeah, for work. Today we are at a stand still- and I get to blog the old fashion way with pen and paper baby yeah! Because we have no connection to the outside world. Everyone is cleaning their work areas, reading, dancing to the oldies...fun times!
Now it could be the Taliban that blocked our signal. We blame the little shit that happens on them. Sort of like gremlins with poorly assembled missiles. Those silly towel heads were at it again last night causing a ruckus...so I hear. Lots of gunfire, missiles, some mortar, but who can tell who's who and doing what. Yesterday, there were many walking around with Santa suits and guns for the annual Christmas fun run. The big thing for the bonus round was that we did not have to get out of bed! No air raid, no bunkers thank God, because once again I slept through it. I tell my scaredy cat buddy, the good Lord did not put me here to blow me up. But now I have a second line that goes, he doesn't like it when people act stupid. So if I hear the ruckus going on I solemnly promise to shake my tail straight away to the bunkers.
Speaking of sleeping, I've been trying to stay at high alert. I sleep with my cell phone that doesn't work here for calls, but "Break on through"... (The Doors) will wake me up if it's right beside me. So, the other night I was sleeping like a baby when all of a sudden I felt a tiny movement in my bed. Knowing all about the famous Afghan kangaroo rats that are suppose to be very cute with their big button eyes and sit on their rear haunches like a kangaroo, I did what every other American girl would do...I jumped out of bed screaming! I tore my bed apart to find that my phone had gone to vibrate- WTH! Now I really want to find one of those jumping bastards- it's the principal, right?
My buddy Colt stayed up all night on Skype last night, after a 3 hour session with Okinawa. So, understandably he was very tired when he hit the sack. He sleeps in a room (like me) with people that come through for a day or two. We call it the transient room, you never know what you'll wake to- or I don't 'cause we all know that I sleep through anything. So he gets to his room and off goes his clothes to land on the top bunk- "pooped as all get out", (a Colt-ism). Then he remembers he left the "Bat phone" (emergency on call line that he is the keeper of- let's all shout AMEN to that...I would never wake up!). So he feels around the top bunk for his pants/ pocket looking for the "Bat" phone on that lumpy bed- which he finds right away to once again lay down on his own sack. Suddenly, the top bunk moves! The guy that was sleeping there had not said a word. It's a good thing that Colt didn't find his "Bat" Phone or this story would have turned out far differently.
Speaking of stupid people tricks, last week I happened to get a ride to go to the showers a mile away. Now I'd walk a mile for a shower. At this place- Yes I would! But you also have to walk back through the muckity muck and talcum sand, in the pitch darkness. I say, what's the point? I usually drag a buddy (never go alone anywhere here), to the abandoned Canadian women's shower. Why would I go to a place abandoned, but a short distance away, you might ask...because we are not suppose to- duh! The showers are a dump and pretty grimy and they left their garbage from their last month here (August), but I wear shower shoes and it is clean water with tons of chlorine to frizz my hair like all of the other showers, and it's got real shower heads- not those stupid wands that you have to negotiate with. So back to my ride to 1 mile shower...I took a nice leisurely 10 minute shower (we're only allowed 3 minutes being in the desert... water shortage you know), and I was feeling squeaky clean. Me and the buds were feeling refreshed and very mellow and PLOP! I fell face first into one of those damn dirt holes that were left over from the flood. I was covered in talcum sand from head to toe. I believe I may have ate some, (remember it contains 17% fecal matter- YUK!) I laid there for a minute or 3 angry and sore because there were rocks in the pit too. There were also many people milling about and truthfully I felt like the biggest pee brain in the world (not to over exaggerate the point). Beefy military guys walked by me saying," watch where you're going." Wise guy like, I said- "Yes sir!  Don't help me up or anything- I can do it." They said, OK and walked on by. They must have been from Romania.
Speaking of, I'm standing in line for chow. The lines are ridiculous and I'm almost to the front and these Romanian soldiers cut in line right in front of me. I was speechless! They immediately got served and walked away. You'd think that this would be no big deal, but it also happened to my buddy- same day, same time at the dessert line. This is war! No more nice girl to the Romanians. They're probably the ones who cut into the Internet!