I think I can do this

Today was a new adventure. You never realize the crap that comes out of you, literally and thankfully- but, today I had the most unpleasant adventure of walking by the famous "Poo Pond". It looked like a glassy lake with an angelic fountain floating from the center. It's all liquified so, who would know? Those with any kind of sensory organs- that's who. The stench is horrible, indescribable and it seems to follow you like a bad fart. I tried to cover my face with my shirt and that was worse because it also gets into your clothes, so now I could taste it too. It makes your eyes water. I could go on and on, but who wants to talk about crap all day. I'm sure that's not what you signed up to follow. There is a best part to my story. The guys that I was with that were escorting me to roll call, decided after this experience to stop first at breakfast! This is my kind of place! Just like EMS, after a vomitus, bloody, guts all over mess- we would sneak off and call delay to get a bite and review the preceeding case while munching on fries. Yes, I think I can do this!