Leaving tomorrow

It's official, off I go. I won't be able to write for a few days, but I originally set this up to write a couple of times a week. But there's so much to share.
Today, for example, I met a couple more Christians and we went off under the gazebo to pray and worship the Lord. Spiritually, it was an incredible experience, plus the sharing of the scriptures and that are all meeting each other is really a blessing. I am flying over with 2 of the guys. A huge blessing!!! Because I'm also going with mr. know it all- done it all. He was outside my room carrying on and bad mouthing the company. The next morning, I told him about some big mouth outside my room carrying on. He said, "red-faced" that it wasn't him. I said, good thing...the boss is next to my room. He stayed away from me the rest of the day and has been so nice since! like what am I going to do? I thought to go out and shut him up at the time, but I'm glad it all worked out!
Talk to you again soon. Love ya all!!!

I had to share this. If you don't laugh, let me know. I'll send the padded truck for you!

 THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. ......EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT. THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS, NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.. SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE. 'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN! LMAO

I made a friend and it isn't this pc

Today I met my new boss Mark. He's a nice chap, quick with jokes and one liners. So we go out to the smoking lounge to talk. He's telling me of how customer service is very important and that I should be nice and try to meet as many people as possible. I reply that I really like patient care, blah, blah... as a man walks by. I say," Hi Ron". He says hello as he glints a smile with my boss. It then that I get the joke. I talk to everyone! And everyone knows it.  And I'm pretty good with their names too. So, Ha! Ha!
I did meet Donna, who is close to my age, beliefs in God and even size! She keeps me on track since I apparently developed a need to sleep. I fall asleep everywhere. I fell asleep in the computer room where I was suppose to be doing individual online training. Then I snoozed during a lecture. She gives me a quick jab and I wake with a snort or some such noise that makes it impossible to get away with the indiscretion. Thankfully, everyone laughs. But did I always do that? It's like the old people falling asleep in church, and when they awake I would indulgently smile at them. Geeez, I'm there and crossing over! It's about time!

Bound for Texas training

As I write this, I am in Texas for training. Very interesting day... After no sleep and a very little happy pill that let me sleep enroute, I walked out of the airport with my 2 big bags, carry on and a purse, to meet my driver via elevator and manuevering around an old couple with small children complete with a stroller...and simultaneously talking to the driver, ( since I walked out of the wrong gate and down the road) . Eric, ( who I called Dave for most of the day), said, stay where you are and I'll be right there. So I relaxed with a cigarette- yes I'm smoking again! Dave came and placed my big bag and carry on that were sitting next to me and off we went. Mike- a passenger, also a new hire, is talking about the luggage charges and it suddenly dawns on me that Dave only placed 2 bags in back. We go back to my pick-up point where the police had cordoned off the area due to a suspicious package, with dog sniffers and the works. I ran up...and the police were ready to tackle me...screaming, wait! That's my bag...it's all a big mistake. I swear, the police man asks me to identify my bag sitting directly in front of me. If I hadn't been so frantic, I may have laughed! I said, my luggage tag has a picture of my poodle. He says, OK- she's good to go! So starts my adventure. It's exactly what my life is- FUN!!! Now, to sleep I go.

1 more day!

Run! Run faster!! Oh my, today is busy. I thought I had everything done- not. Plus, there are so many roadblocks. I still have no stress, even today... I might be coming down with something. Plus, I haven't even said or thought of the "F" word through all this. We all know that I can get pretty angry. Maybe I am ready for all of this? Stay tuned... Tomorrow is take off. I miss you already!!

2 days to go!

I'm counting down till take off. Two more days. Today is open house day...people stopping by to say good-bye. So nice to see everyone before I leave for a year in the sandbox. Last night, it was a send off from the girls. Now that was hard. I cried like a baby. What will I do without my support team for a whole year. Really, 5 days notice is crazy! Thank God I was almost packed! I'm not nervous... a little excited for my new journey...mostly I'm worried that I won't take care of some important before I leave. My little guy for one. I think I found a sitter and I pray that everything works out. AND, I made the decision to leave my trusted and ever present laptop behind. Hey, if we don't get decent service, what do I need it for-right? I know I will have withdrawals for a couple days, but I hear that the training keeps you very busy. If I can't take it, I guess I'll have to buy another. She was an old girl anyway...trusted and slow.
So this is my blog...stay tuned for my adventures. My posts maybe sketchy at first- training for the first month and all, but I want to stay in touch and share in my experiences. Talk soon!!!