Snow and other woes

Tomorrow starts 18-24 inches of snow...storms... Who the heck is running the snow machine? Shut it off already! They don't get snow for 20 years and because I'm here we get back to back to back snow storms. Or is someone pulling my leg? Maybe I'll wake up in my own bed back home wrapped in my snuggly comforter and promising never to eat stuffed jalapenos before bed again.

Speaking of legs...Mine have had it! I did a whopping 80-ish patients today pounding the rocky road and supplying anti- malaria medication. I felt like the Avon lady. They didn't stand a chance. I flipped out the forms and had them filling them out before they could say no. Then we would have a sit down chat about how everything kills you here, so take your Doxy. (I'm trying to save your lives people!). I think everybody will be taking it- or not.  I wanted to knock out all of the shots that are due too and get caught up for a change. Since I'm making my way about camp, let's catch those bunches of shot dodgers. Geez, what ever happened to the days of rescue? We zombie medics are now walking around talking to ourselves with stupid blank stares saying, "I used to be a medic, I used to be a medic." My Buddy Medic has turned into the secretarial medic and has been chained to the desk slaving away at some required paperwork for days. Poor girl. Unfortunately only one can work a spreadsheet at a time and that's her thing. I have always proudly spouted that I chose my profession because you don't have to type and you don't do poop. Times have changed, but at least you get to Facebook! Sick call turned out to have sick people. Imagine that! It is cough and cold season. Now everybody go to bed!( I really could've have use that line on Happy VD).

And if dreams came true... today should've been the day for this morning I woke to no heat and no power! The low was... I don't know -25? I was going to refuse to get up, but nature screamed! I ran out for my ablutions and almost got frostbite. How much can one contractor take? No not me...I'm the positive one.  So I suggested a positive spin on this...say, a marshmellow roast. But the PX is out of those. So how 'bout weenies... for breakfast? The PX is out of those too. S'mores..out of those too. They do have plenty of microwaveable stuff. Let's see, who has a microwave- oh that's right, No One! Ha!Ha! Let's just do the bonfire! Nope- we're packed in here pretty tight. We might end up roasting our buddy's. Change of plans.

So I picked misery. It's too cold to be upbeat and I'm tired. I've done 5 months here in this hell hole and traveled to 10 FOB's and had a generally awesome time. Add in all the crap and lies... There's too many no gots and not enough we's have and paperwork for everything, but to wipe with. I am blessed! The poor locals are freezing and I'm giving out my stuff. They seriously need our combat boots and I'm sick to death of hearing that they've lived here thousands of years without advancements and survived. I'm sorry, why are we here again? I know we're not here to change their way of life, but they work with us and see how we live and eat and we're warm. Do you know how many people have told me that I am SO LUCKY to be an American.  "I know I am" what an ungrateful slug am I. That is the reason I can stay upbeat, because I'm so ashamed when I complain when I am very, very blessed. I vow to try to keep my snow complaints, no heat, no lights, blah, blah woes to myself. Thank you Jesus!

Happy Valentine's Day or Happy VD as we call it in hell

Happy VD to you- Yippee! Today is Happy Valentine's Day! That's as close as we get for a get out of jail free card. Hugs for everybody, the occasion calls for it! Except for the no fraternation rule and no sex rule...um wait. Did I not hear that as long as the the contractors stay with contractors and not cross over to the military side there is no rule against sex. I said, WHAT? I need to see that in writing. But,since I've seen my share of the PID shuffle and Honeymoon cystitis, I think I will take a pass. Yuk! Everything here is out to kill you.

Take for example, the change in altitudes (Afghanistan has some of the highest mountains in the world with peaks to 24,580 ft). You can go from sea level to 6500 feet or more in one day and still be required to work. The company that I work for is nice and gives us a break to acclimate, but not so with others. Altitude sickness can cause dizziness, difficulty in breathing, chest pain, sweats and any number of symptoms and even death. We suffer exertion toting our own loads including our armor, luggage, PC's, backpacks, blah, blah, (rememeber there are no bellhops, Princess). Plus, you get some pretty fantastic legs from all of the walking that is required going from one place to another when traveling and on base and it can be exausting for anyone. Factor in age, extreme weather, air travel, out of shape, smoke from the fire pit or trees and grass, when you haven't seen it in months, and you can see a truly life threatening condition happen before your very eyes. I don't know what some think coming here with their couch potato-ness. I know a guy who states he's old, but he's in much better shape than the kids, for sure. I keep waiting to see the old part in him as he skips up steps that leave me out of breath. He can walk briskly on ice and moves containers that normally takes two to move. If that's old, I can't wait to get there- except, I never have time to work out and I'm too lazy to get up in the middle of the night like my buddy's do, excuses, excuses. But I do walk!

The rocks that form our sidewalks and streets here are a huge workout! I thought this one guy that works outdoors was a little on the whiney side. He kept coming in for a foot problem...and by the way, "my feet are really paining me". So I gave him some anti-inflammatory and sent him on his way. Yesterday, I had to chase down some patients...about 40 of them, that continually forget about coming in for their scheduled shots. I think I will bring the vaccinations with me in the future... you can run, but you can't hide. (Imagine the visual of me going to the workplace and stabbing all noncompliant-ers in the butt with my needle, Ha! HA! No more excuses!!! Shots are usually given in the arm, except for bad patients...kidding! I can dream, can't I?) So yesterday I did my walk about camp looking in every nook and crevice for said people. I was out for hours walking on the many sized rocks and muck in my trustie snow boots. Sometimes the mud came midway up my calf and that stuff gets heavy! When I got back to the clinic, my feet hurt so bad and my jello legs took a pass from going to the gym for one day. Tired became a new word. Now I have found a new compassion for the Outsiders.

So as I soften up and become "nice girl" again...What am I saying? I'm always nice girl. I can't go anywhere without someone stopping me for a smile, a wave or a little conversation. (I like to call it PR boss). And I know that clients come to see me "the nice girl" and not because I give foot massages and back rubs. It's all in a day's work. (insert pat on back here). So do a little "NICE" today and have a Happy Valentines Day! Now go hug someone...

The snow effect

Another snow day- Yeah! Memories of being a child and geting the day off of school, and hot chocolate in between bouts of playing in the snow with my friends. But this is Afghanistan-yuk! I watch the beauty of the flakes falling and get heckled as I dust off the porches and make do with cardboard as welcome mats. I thought to add tape to some of that cardboard, (a huge commodity and one I would have to fight to protect) and make a sled on death knoll that leads directly to our backdoor. I fiqured it would be light enough to throw up to the next person who would then slide down the hill! But I was told that it was a no-no. OK, So let the camp goers fall on the big pointy rocks and scrape their butts all the way down. Instead we planned on a sleepless night and waited for the broken arses, legs and necks that would soon be pounding on our door. At least my idea would be more fun.

Snow turns to ice on rocks,(did you know that?) we don't have sidewalks in this part of town. It was good fun watching the fashion conscious girls walk around in their heels and plop on their butts. At one viewing, the audience looked at me for guidance. After a little bit of a pause, (meaning I wanted to tell Barbie to go get proper shoes on), I asked if she was alright? She said yes and did not want my kind of help so, I hurried away from the entertainment. I'm all about caring and compassion, but when stupid be- why look to me? I wear snow boots with my pants tucked in... am I not cute?

This is a base that is sort of on the big side. Lots of people smushed into tents and housed together, except for me and my medic partner. We get to sleep in our clinic, (a bosses dream), which is removed from the others. We have our own rooms, I have a bed and no furniture because I'm a FOB hopper and I'm not here much and not worth the expense. It also doubles as the guest room, so I live out of my suitcase and am getting rather good at it. We are also fortunate enough to be awakened at all hours of the night because people know where to find us. Whoever planned that little maneuver definitely had money signs before their eyes- they get us 24 hrs a day. It really is a good move for the patient who knows where to look for us. I'm here a lot, becoming bored by the none happenings here or I leave with my trustie radio at all times- a lesson learned at Tiny base when I lost it. I really thought the good guy site manager was teaching me a lesson and hid it on me. I really did earned that lesson for always forgetting the radio and he caught me every time. I fiqured I don't hide so why do I need a radio? I was always in plain site somewhere. Boy was I wrong! I did find it after a frantic search and it became my constant companion. And with that radio certain military guys could pull pranks on me on a daily-sometimes hourly basis. They would call out my code names and send me running to and fro and when I arrived, say they didn't call me- in annoyance and I would hear them laughing as I walked away. It was near to the last day when I found that it was their playtime thing. So I was not nuts after all! Ha!

I have no problem with games and socialization. The kids have taken to coming by and spilling their guts and have started calling me mom instead of mame. I'm a good sport, but I can't decide which I like less. I need no reminders that I'm reaching for that ripe 'ol age. Spouses fooling around and divorces are big this week. It really angers me that anyone has to deal with that being so far from home, plus all the crap we deal with on a regular basis. I am very appreciative that anyone wants to talk to me about so personal of matters. I could really write a Diane Sawyer book, but their secrets are safe with me. Everyone is so special and unique here. You have to be to live in hell.

This is a unique kind of hell where it snows and is cold and it reminds me of home. I have a family here and on many bases, but the ones back home...I can't wait to see again! See you soon!

Shots in the D

My little typo...I guess the other was a little creepy. Sign up for the St Patty's Day run at Corktown at runmichigan.org. Join our team "Shots in the D". I'll be there!

Travel time

Today is both boring and busy. I love the patients/everyone here on the base and I love it that they want to come and say hi! and by the way, while i'm here (insert illness)...Is it just me or is everyone sick? I'm sick just a bit from traveling. I thought I would skip it this time. I was only in the air for a few minutes...if my throwing arm was what it was 20 years ago...well it never was that great, but I bet someone could throw a rock from this base to Tiny base. The point is, everytime I travel I come down with a cough. Maybe it's these ol' girl lungs, but 2 minutes in the air should've exempted me from coughville, do I never get a free pass? Then there was that bit on the ground for a half an hour where we had to play "chase the ground crew". Apparently we landed in a no off-load zone and after the 6 of us helped the crew to off-load the cargo, We had to load up again and moved/drove to a different area. Note that all heat stops functioning when you land. Not good news when we have hijacked arctic temperatures here. The crew was good enough to put me back in the bird and the guys, (always manly men) soon followed... slowly.

Speaking of sick, my child is getting better slowly. Thank you for your prayers. A little story for the Marter Paranormal Research Team, a freaky thing happened concerning the Angie story...I was sleeping away comfy and warm in my bed. If you've been reading along, you know that my tent doubles as an igloo at night and all heat ceases. Getting out of that bed is mostly impossible and it takes a lot of talking to myself to get me up for work (in the next room where it's cold also). So it's 2 hours from wake time and I hear my baby cry out, "Mommy" like she's screaming into my ear. I jumped out of that bed and ran to call her. She said she'd been trying to reach me because she was in so much pain. Thankfully she went to seek treatment, (she broke her ribs coughing) for I got her SOS a few hours later...being so far away in Afghanistan. Apparently telepathy isn't as quick as Ma Bell.

One thing that is quick- sort of, is planes and I'm coming home March 2nd. After a quick stop in Paris to check out the Left Bank and see Jim Morrison's grave (I've always wanted to do that!) and shop of course, I'll be home. Party time is still to be announced and don't forget we have the St Patty's 5K to attend and run on March 11th in Corktown, (sign up at runmichigan.org.) We are "Shot in the D" team, I think.. but I hope to see everyone soon! I miss you all.

New way to get me via email

I have signed up for a FeedBurn, which is like telling me to hand you a rachet and I hand you a hammer. I don't understand it at all. One thing that is nice is all you have to do is fill in your email address at the top of the blog and submit it. You will get notification of every new blog as they come out and this is not as hard as signing up. I even did it to try it out. If you have any problems, please let me know

Maria

Pondering...

These things make me nuts...Today my daughter called. She broke her ribs coughing with her pneumonia. She's been sick since December 17th, 10 days shy of 2 months. I want to call the doctor, who I've known for 20 years and ask him WTH? I'm so angry that I almost replaced that "H" with a "F". It's really not his fault. I should be home taking care of her, but instead I'm throwing money at the problem and trying not to think about it. She needs to take care of herself and grow up, I said to myself. But what happens if it causes her demise (Mommy worry's). Pounts to ponder when you can do nothing else.
And the death of one of Detroits finest, who I knew. I won't be attending his funeral or be there for his widow and kids. That makes me feel so far away and powerless, which I hate because we all know how I like to stay at the wheel. I miss my friends... and I ponder...
And my work... what happened to patient care? I've learned how to type out of necessity...Some days, I can't keep up with the paperwork. I've pondered until I found little tricks to cut down on the time spent on those things that keep us compliant and get us paid. Never much on organization, I have learned that it cuts down on time searching and makes my life easier. I told my buddy that I like rules and procedures and he almost broke his ribs laughing at me while I stared on innocently. Must shine halo tonight, I thought. Another point to ponder...
Add to that the threat that we all suffer of losing our positions. It makes people edgy, disgruntled and not good team players. I constantly say, "look at this as an adventure and not a job. Put on a happy face and a positive attitude. Don't let others steal your joy." I think too many people have had too much adventure and joy snatching here. The conditions frankly suck. They turn off the internet/ hence no communication back home, on a whim. Then, expect everyone to up their game- HA! Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought it was crystal clear that we would be able to correspond with our loved ones. Plus, the temperature outside is only good if you're a polar bear. I woke to seeing my breath from my sleeping bag this morning. I can't tell you how hard it was to run outside and dash to the potty. It almost made peeing in the bed look attractive. It's running me down. I actually had to go to bed early last night- the horror!
I still like it here and I still like the people and all that I've gone through and all that I have yet to suffer. It gives me strength and helps me to grow. I pondered the 10 moves and 8 FOBS that I've been on in 4 months...and that's counts my luggage too- what a drag! I shock myself that my vocabulary has not returned to constant "F" words. I still like to travel... they picked (on) the right girl. (Ha! Bring it on!) And I realized that to get angry would only hurt me. I want to do this job. For me, it's not about the money.  I do make an attempt to stay quiet and under the radar.. y'all stop laughing, I said I tried- maybe once or twice...But everyone needs someone on their side and we have NO ONE.. so I stepped up. I can't perfect health, resurrect, be perfection, or save your job, ( I can't even save mine. I count on Jesus for me), but I can be a friend. You can count on me to smile in your face and work on causing one on yours. I will listen to you, sympathize with you, hug you when you need one and be your friend. You can count on it. I have your back.