So far away

I'm away from home and far away. I knew I would miss a Thanksgiving and opening presents at Christmas. There would be birthdays and New Years, all things that I've... been there... done that. I would only miss one of each and I'd be home before anyone got used to me being gone. It's only a year after all.  I thought those would be the hard times. I was so wrong.

My friend is in pain, and I pray. Her daughter is on life support and I can not help in any way, so I pray. I can't come home to be there for her, to help or to comfort her... I'm so helpless...so I pray. She will have a funeral for her baby girl , the only one she had. I know no details of what had gone so terribly wrong. Would it help me or anyone if I knew? So I pray. I pray for her comfort, her peace, her strength to get through this horrendous madness that no parent should ever have to face alone. And I pray for the Lord's love and strong arms to wrap around her every second of every day that she has to survive this earth without her child. And I pray with the believe that God will be with her every step of the way. And I'm grateful that she was brought to our church by her daughter to make unbelievably supportive, caring, wonderful friends that will be with her... God's will and God's walk, for such a devastating day.

 I will remember her beautiful happy face forever- RIP Angela

Hello Hell!!

                            In a new location and the 4th day of a cold, sinus thing. I've been doing a lot of sleeping and being sick and this is the perfect place to do it at. There is nothing to do here. The 3 of us work 2 hours in the morning from 6-8 and then 2 hours in the afternoon, 3-5. That's it! This is an itty, bitty base and any change would not be tolerated! That's OK... Not that I am all about work...sometimes I want to sit around just like the next guy- but not often and this is ridiculous! I was so needed here in Hell that I got a 12 hour notice that I was leaving Shangri-La. We were so busy the day I left that I barely had time to pack and forgot things. Now that I'm here, they are in no way set up for another person. 4 days later, and I still don't have Internet access- something very essential to do my job, well I need it to blog- don't I? I still haven't wrapped up my patients from the last base. We don't have the necessary equipment...example #1: who ever heard of have a medical clinic with nowhere to wash your hands? That's right, we do not even have a sink. It's disgusting working on patients with no washing in between them. Of course there is the hand sanitizer- NEXT!  Example #2:  There is no weight scale, quote,"too many people used it and broke it. They abused the privilege so we will not get another." So, I laughed, (you know me). A scale is really our way of making friends. It's the ring on a Merry-Go-Round that when you've caught it, you've really accomplished something. That is our scale. It brings the customer/patient in for a minute. It's your chance to make an impression. To be open and friendly...someone they can trust with their health.
 The bright side, (I'm all about a bright side), is I can feel that I've lost weight. Yippee! I was very resistant to this change in bases. I loved my last location and had friends. Everyone there smiled when they saw us coming. People crossed the street just to say HI! Patients came into the clinic sick and most went right back to work trusting that the care we gave would fix them up. Why on earth would anyone want to break something that worked so well? Poor LaDona is somewhere else and unhappy too, under a different gestapo. It seems to be a trend here...being unhappy. It amazes me that people stay the full year or even do more than one contract. You can tell who the new people are. They are the ones who smile and still have hope. Everyone looks at you like you are an alien...or the wait and see you in a month look, when you are as unhappy as them. The loners do stay for years. They do their robot jobs and exist day to day. AND mean people, they're everywhere, making life miserable for everyone.
 Medical people can be cruel. They have a power all their own, because they can send people home. We are here to keep the worker's healthy, happy and working. They come in sick or injured. Most won't even come in to any clinic for fear that they will get sent home, and sometimes for good reason. Or they come in when they can't manage their condition any longer, get care, medicine...and not come back for their follow up not chancing another opportunity to be sent away. I've found that many people can be borderline healthy and still manage to pass the physicals and come to work in Afghanistan. The conditions here are horrible. It's the nature of Afghanistan...very harsh, sand gets into everything...what you eat, drink, breathe. I once read a story about the making of," Jesus Christ Superstar." During the big dance scene in front of the temple ruins, they were diving into the sand and the director wanted a BIG effect with puffs of sand rising among the dancers as they dove into the earth. They could've gotten just that kind of sand here in the ends of the world- Afghanistan. It is like a powder puff as you walk. It reminds me of "Pig Pen", from Charlie Brown.  You'd think that since we are so isolated that it would give us something in common and band together. Not at all. LaDona and I had that in common...taking care of people with compassion and dignity and making them laugh. Our patients thought that we were their friends and like family. Even the few that had to go home, were grateful that we cared so much for them. Not one yelled or cursed us. That's how it should be.
 There is no reason to look down on or degrade another human being. You don't say, if you don't take care of your feet I'm going to send you home. You don't yell at the ones who really can't speak English. Why should anyone have to say," don't crap in the showers" and, " no squatting on the toilet seats when you go to the bathroom." There is actually a sign for this with a cute little person sitting daintily on the seat, then the bohemian with their feet on the seat and posed in a squat. I think to myself...what is our limit of teaching? Is it OK that some people are not of the west? Is it OK to do your own thing your own way? Looking around, I saw no one who would do such a thing. But is there a way to stereotype such behavior. Is there anyway to tell what nasty things people do in when they are alone. Unfortunately not... we are all guilty of some pretty gross behavior.  I like to think your things are worse than mine. But, to be honest.... We try to be civilized and live in this world together. We try to be respectful of the next guy. AND then there's Mr Perfect, who can sit in judgement and spew his verdict and expect life as they want it. Is it any wonder so many people are unhappy!
So this is my mission. I choose joy! I choose happiness! I choose to be the nut in this chaos! And I choose to be delirious in my new home. There are many nice people here, and for this....I'll probably be sent home as the renegade that I am...stand by!
                      

I love working here - Oct 23 (late post)

    Any kid of contractor can really make some really good kind of dough when they go out of the good ol' USA. That's was a motivation for me!  Those tax free dollars and debt free dreams are stuff that gives you the warm fuzzy's and makes you sleep like a baby- right? Wake Up!!! Get your head out of the clouds. This is not champagne wishes and caviar dreams. There is no such thing as free.
My ears are now tuned to the, "if you do this____, ( fill in the blank) then you will get sent home. I spent the day walking around and listening to the threats... if you smoke in non- designated areas..., if you wear the wrong shirt..., if you fo dee do do..., if you are too cheery..., if you get caught in the lady's compound (men only)...and the ultimate nail biter, fear raiser threat- if you get sick....you get the picture. So suppose we get food poisoning. At home I'd be raising all kinds of hell and letter writing, but here you have to think. You do the "light fandango" as you race for the basin, because we are all friends and we are all in this together. So we heave chunks on the sly in the name of our good buddies or the faces that we see everyday. There are many good people here just trying to etch out their living and do well for their families. Hard working men and women who really deserve a break today. But, it is a military contract. Our bread and butter, and rules must be preserved for the general good of all. So the dilemma goes...

 

    I love working here. I am cramming so much new information in my head that I think every night- I can't take anymore! Then the 'morrow comes and I'm back to learning and studying and practicing. I do my walk back and forth to the DFAC (chow hall) and back and forth to the smoking shack. That's all the available free time for me. I watched a required movie that I am now requiring all of you to watch, " Camp Victory, Afghanistan." It shows some of the conditions and the atmosphere that we live in, (don't forget the sand...in fact, I bet it will take me a year to get it off my stuff when I go home.) and it was good movie too. Sometimes it's very hard to remember that I'm in the middle of a war zone. Then there's other times...but I always try to make the best of it. In fact, I was very sick yesterday. While running to my favorite private spot, I ran into someone I knew not at all. I said ,"excuse me", as I ran past her. She yelled out, " what's wrong with you, you are always so cheery." I was shocked that anyone noticed.

 

 I try to be a positive, motivating influence on everyone. I always have talked to everyone and anyone, which is serving me well here. It is amazing how many people that I have met and group with that are Christians. We draw each other like magnets....just saying. Never is it more evident than when I'm far away from home with so many different nationalities from so many different countries. I am still keeping up with my Bible studies, but more -keeping him before me. Also, we are in the middle of Muslim-land, ( they are all over), and I have yet to see anyone at prayer, (what is it, 5-6 times daily?) There is a mosque here...never seen anyone in it. Isn't that strange.... Just another point to ponder.

 

Miss you all and I get all of your comments even though I cannot see my own blog. So write! Is there anything that you would like me to write about? Or just drop a Hello to me!

See ya!

Stupid Me!‏

The owner of the company stopped by for a visit. I was excited to see him again as I had met him in training and he was nice and funny...really interesting and down to earth. However, I should've known. Let's title this blog- Stupid me! We had to clean house until it shined, not a big deal in the middle of the desert when you have to clean everything everyday anyways, but it would've been nice to have some normal cleaning supplies. We used itty-bitty wipies for surfaces and there was nothing to wash the floor with. We have some guys that come in daily to do this stuff, and they have all that stuff stashed. If I had a stash of cleaning supplies at my disposal, my 4X6 area would sparkle. But alas, I make do with alcohol wipes, tiny wipie's and brown paper towels swished around by my feet. Hey, it works! Never again will I take Mr Clean for granted. Never would I think a clean space would be so important to me. But we are in the middle of the desert and the sand is so fine that I even have to wrap my laptop in plastic. It's getting so bad (or I'm getting used to it), that the other night after a loooonng work day my southern buddy says, "let's go shower and hit the hay", and I replied- what for, we only get dirty again the minute we walk out of the showers. Thank you God for my nettie pot! A clean nasal passage is a definite "must have" here.

And snakes! I was so excited not to have seen a snake here yet. Then, I was walking in the dark without my flashlight and complacent, (Stupid me!) and BAM! I walked right over one. I was talking so I didn't notice right away, ( does that surprise anyone?), but then it registered and it had already slithered away. My buddy wants to check me in for hallucinations.

And back to today...perfectly nice people became raging maniacs, rude, above us all, when the bosses are around. Boy, I feel as if I'm back in Detroit at Joe Shmo ambulance company. Everyone was on edge. I made a quick get a way with my buddy for lunch. Busted!!! We were later told that we HAD to go with the group to dinner. Then, I almost missed the bus!!! Ha! Ha! But again I was busted, yelled at like the 2 y/o that I am, and away I meekly went. Ha! Ha! Ha!

 

So I don't have to rely on all the Linda Blair's of the world, I have my friends- well just LaDona who laughs with me all day and is in on the secret. So we went out to my favorite hang out spot- the smoking lounge. It was great fun as the Bosnians were having a party, it being Monday night and all. They seem to have these random parties for any reason and they are very nice. So we popped it and were given "near beer" and they had bought some snacks and I laughed so hard. There was even almost a fight! Good times!!!

 

I'll post some pictures at a later date.

 

Remember me in your prayers always!

Silly Patient Tricks 10/22

We are never, ever to divulge patient information...but I can tell you of all their silly little antics!

Trick #1: Today, a patient came back as ordered for further treatment. He was a really sick guy. Sick people usually cry and scream for their mommy's, or they're quiet. This was his case. He was very quiet and we caught him crying because he thought we would send him home. He is the only bread winner in his family, from a very poor country. His English is almost non-existent. So today it was a total shock, as I was evaluating him...and him saying how much better he was, that he told me of a mid- back pain that he suffered last night. I went and checked the side effects of his medications and returned to him to get a more focused idea of what was going on. I touched his back in the area he was describing and I said," does it hurt here"? He said no,"up more". So I rubbed the area up higher, and said,"anywhere here?" and he says, no,"up more". Now I see him moving his shoulders and I realize that he's trying to con a back rub out of me and I said," are you trying to get a back rub out of me?....He said yes! And then he laughed hilariously...

Trick #2: Today I missed my big chance... some really hot Bosnian guy came in. I have found that most guys from Bosnian are really hot. Unfortunately, they are also too young for me. Actually my fish pond is growing smaller by the day. (him, haw).. So anyway, I took him since LaDona was busy, but I really needed to run to the ladies- like yesterday! He said he needed to be seen for... a cough? He goes into the exam room and asks if he should take his pants off. I laugh and say, if that would make you more comfortable... (Hey, I'm old, not dumb). Well I do my utmost to be professional and evaluate him, (with pants on) but he seems to think it's playtime in the romper room and I can't laugh anymore without embarrassing myself, so I hand him off to LaDona. On my return, he is taking his shirt off...even LaDona doesn't know why, so I go in to ...help out...That's my story and I'm sticking to it! She's busy checking out his...nasal passages, his lung sounds on his chest...and he says," if you touch me one more time  I might have to grab you and love you." That southern girl has never been at a loss for words before. And I know she has never blushed in my presence before. But, as the clinic erupted in laughter, she did both of those things.

 

Trick #3: There are patients that really step over the boundary that is drawn between medical people and patient. For LaDona who has been seeing a BIG guy since we got here, He has come in for a number of legitimate complaints and returns with extremely useful gifts. I get some too! Problem is...I'm afraid in his little puppy dog state that he is going to do serious harm to himself. Not that he is purposely injuring himself...he's not. But he is so happy to have to come and see her. She joins me at the smoking shelter and he hops on down too. I'll laugh if he takes up smoking.

 

We are the motivation team. We sometimes get asked medical questions as we wander the compound, like- It hurts when I put my thumb like this... and I answer, don't put your thumb like that.

And we get those Don's who tell us that their hearts hurt every time they see us...I'm taking that as a compliment, 'cause I figure the other end would hurt if it wasn't meant to be.

The benefits!!! Everyone is so nice!

Same, Same...but different

As I look around at all of the foreign people on the compound, it suddenly occurred to me that it doesn't matter how far away from home I am... things are the same all over.

I was a little melancholy today as I looked at my daughter's wedding photos. An event that I had to skip and I'm blaming it on the economy. I hadn't had a job in 2 years when this opportunity came along, so I jumped at it, and landed in Afghanistan. Nikkie understood, but I still wished I had been there. It looked so beautiful and happy! What a special day for her...  Congrats Baby! The dresses were beautiful. This was one occasion that the girls weren't dressed as on the cover of Vogue....maybe Sport's Illustrated / Swimsuit Edition...Scott & Nikkie's wedding was on a cruise ship. How great was that! So they were all dressed in the latest swimsuit fashions. There was also dress up at dinner and this is where my story takes off.

We all know how important fashion is in America...land of plenty and don't forget to show it off. I never thought of myself as a fashion guru apart from being an armchair critic for "Project Runway". But I saw my inner snob come out this week. There are very few American women where I am. There are Bosnians, Macedonians, Germans, Kenyans, Pakistani's, even some "home boys" from Afghanistan and many other countries too numerous to name. The American women...you know us...we wear the ordered: desert boots, tan cargo pants, uniform shirt...March... drab, drab. The Bosnians and Kenyans seem to have cornered the 70's market. I can't remember when the last time I saw someone with a Cyndi Lauper balanced on the top side of your head ponytail. I almost yanked that baby off. And bangle bracelets...Hello Madonna!!! And tight, tight stretch jeans...WTH, we're in Afghanistan...just peel those baby's off. You look ridiculous with those sweat spots on your behind- or maybe it's all the water that I make you all drink- Ha! ha! ha! who knows. And under no circumstance, in any country, at any age is it acceptable to wear anything Sponge Bob Square Pants- you hear me? And, the bad weaves...it was funny that a girl tried to negotiate a couple weaves of my buddy's hair. Problem was...it's her real hair!!! They wear winter coats and fluffy winter vests...Today it was 110 degrees. Don't even come to me with your heat stroke. It's not fashion if it makes you sick. OK, maybe it could kill you...like the 10 inch spikes my daughter Angee and her friends wear. (That's right! They shop in New York City).  I secretly want to push her off those towers of glory just to make a point. You are going to break your neck! Then it occurred to me... you're either into fashion, or you are OUT! Girls just want to be the best that they can be. Same, same...but different.

A Paramedic story

Paramedics here are a gas! We all try to "one up" each other. We tell our tales of the grosses stories that would make you anorexic in 5 seconds, but  today I learned some useful tricks. I even got one of the guys to volunteer for this! I was taught how to roll an eyelid! This could be a very useful skill to teach your 5 year old. Use a Q-tip on your eyelid crease and grab the lash line while gently rolling the lid back. See...now you too can be a remote medic! I remember my grandma telling me that if I didn't stop that my eyelid would get stuck! But it's a great thing to know for someone with a stye. And I ask, is there any cutting involved? No unfortunately....
I am a procedure "ho" which means I really like to cut and stitch. I don't like the testing part- collecting poop, urine-yuk! We practiced stitches yesterday. It's amazing that everytime we have a lecture on something the patient follows. We had an elbow lecture...in walks an elbow injury. I even got to poke him with a stretched out paperclip...a legitimate test called the 2 point test, something like "pin the tail on the donkey", but with a patient. Yeah! We had a class on HEENT, ( sinus drain) and we had a run on that, oh boy... So we're learning how to do different techniques for stitching someone up. I've been waiting all day at the door, like a hungry dog waiting for a bone. I've suggested a number of times that Mike (lead paramedic/hot guy) let me cut him for the sake of my practice skills. I fiqure that since I'm stitching him up and I'll bandage that baby, (the wound- well Mike too), and I know how to do some neat stitches thanks to "Home Ec", so who would ever know.    Speaking of gas... local hot guy, lead paramedic " Mike" happens to be full of it today. We are all congratulating him as he was promoted today to a Regional Operating Manager. I guess I'll have to act a little more respectful and play nice...I can be bribed! So...Congratulations Mike!!!  And my eye rolling volunteer keeps following me around asking for therapeutic message...I told him to talk to me tonight- wink.