Night time

Night time, quiet time in the sandbox...are you kidding me? I went for a little "me time" to the latrines at about 11 pm and you'd think there was a party going on. A simple 5 minute trip took a half an hour by the time my buddy's got finished chatting it up with me. I don't talk much -Yuk, yuk!...and it's pitch black out there. My night vision has returned, but just in case for the real blackout nights I'm still carrying around my gifted flashlight from my buddy Nette.

Light is a big deal here. I've requested an outdoor light so that my patient's can stop stumbling up to our doorstep at all hours of the night. It just kills me when they come for..say... woke up vomiting...and by the way, I hurt my ankle trying to find your door. I just give them a bucket, put them on the stretcher and tell them to hike up their leg and expose it. Visual here...you have got to picture the dumbfounded look on their face! We only work for 12 hours a day...Ha!Ha!...(I crack myself up sometimes!) My bunkroom is in the clinic, so my patient's have the added benefit of 24 hour access to me.

Darkness, the neighbor next door had a very late night and went beddie-bye without even thinking about his poor little medic buddy next door. He did not leave a light on tonight. So not only can't my patients find the door (if they so desire), it also sucked big time for me, because it illuminated the port-a-potty nearby for the mignight nature call. So, will have to tramp down to the real latrines when nature calls... decisions.

Nature and night time, quiet time. Time for scorpions and spiders and all other creepy crawlers to come out and hunt for my leg. That's what it feels like. Today I took the scenic walk around the place and we climbed a hill where there were tons of little camel spiders. They're ok when they're the size of a couple of ants, it's when they get bigger like the size of my hand. They walk on hind legs with their little pinchers arms posed for you and they are fast! We stomped around trying to smash them and they were mostly able to avoid certain death.

Day or night, something is always happening around here. It makes for an interesting adventure and I know I will eventually leave the sandbox and return home...or maybe to a new adventure! Stay tuned...

Rain days

Geezzzz, when it rains, it pours. I was thinking of hitting the hay early tonight and checking out the new movie I just bought, "Act of Valor"...stupid thought. I should just run around knocking my head on wood...here comes the rain. The refrigerator broke with thousands of buck-a-roos of drugs. Thankfully, we caught it before the temperature dropped reducing all to rubble. I was able to find enough refrigeration elsewhere so that the stuff wouldn't go bad. So, while we're fumbling around stashing the drugs in coolers and getting rid of the drugs- temporarily that is... and trying to submit very important! must do! right now! this second! for the head office paperwork..and then the repair guys walk in causing more commotion... and a very official inspector type person (banging on the door) demands something for a headache- who also refuses to be seen, (sorry- ever heard of the PX?)... in walks a young guy that doesn't feel well. Poor fellow, (so sorry, I don't feel well either). Quick exam by my partner and when I heard the ominous words, " can you check this out?" I knew no bedtime for us tonight! Sure enough! Who ever heard of a 20 something having a cardiac event bad enough to get him flown out in an all exciting Medavac. We have! Seriously, I don't want to go that way, but it looks so exciting on MASH, (my all time favorite show). We have it all in Afghanistan. So if you're looking for excitement and don't mind waking up to stare death square in the face- come on over! It beats EMS anyday, (except for Detroit where you get shot at daily for pennies).

Speaking of death, it's mouse season here in the sandbox. Springtime and sandstorm time where all critters human or what not, who like to mozy on out and stretch their legs and enjoy the day. I am fortunate enough to have the best in vector control just down the pathway from my hut. They are doing such a great job that those pesky rodents are hiding under my hut and dying. Please someone tell me why they only die after dark and when I'm comfy in my bed? It's a digusting smell and one that I'm sure will forever stay lounged in my sensory brain complete with the alltime awlful smell of the Poo Pond. I'll have to wait for the real rain to wash it all away. Hey! I think we got jipped... (correct slang spelling for cheated as I am attempting to be PC. Did you know that G-Y-P-P-E-D is a racial slur against gypsies? Never can be too sure when the Profiling Police will be around. And as I run on... I'd like to take a pass on the rain too!) Literally, everything washes away here and floods and it's a mess. I'm glad I've missed the worse of it. So goes it- stay away rain! I'll just end here as it is a bright, cloudless, sunny day and it's time to enjoy it!

Adventures

So I forgot to write about my amazing travel back to the sandbox. I wanted to see as many things as I could while I'm away and on this side of the world. So, I scheduled a layover tour in Amsterdam. I planned for months: cheese factory, boat trip down the river- recommended so that you can see all the sights in one quick hour and if time permitted, a quick jaunt to Anne Franks house. I studied the maps so I wouldn't get lost in the airport or out and about. This was going to be a trip of a lifetime and the best use of my 7 hour layover. So I boarded my plane from Detroit to Amsterdam. I got my favorite window seat and as luck would have it my neighbor was a contractor like me. Surely he knew the importance of sleep to re-adjust when going back to hell. Nope, he did not or didn't care. It was party time! He ordered a beer and asked politely, would you like one. I said no thank you. I don't drink. He said, it might make you sleepy. Well that was enough for me. I said sure- just one. Then we started chatting it up and he sure was funny. The flight attendant came strolling through with her cart and he ordered 2 more. I looked at this harmless beverage and thought, why not. I'm going back to a dry country. Another with dinner and I felt the need to doze...which I did...until I was rudely poked awaked by the knuckle head that stated, "sorry mame, I think you might have fallen asleep, I was just saying..."

Strangely enough, by the time I got to Amsterdam not only was I too tired to walk, I was also a little more than tipsy. Still I made my way with my foggy brain to the travel desk where my adventure awaited...only to be told that they overbooked and they could not accomodate me until 2 hours before my next flight. Thank the heavens for alcohol because I would have been hopping mad. Instead, with profuse apologetics they offered me the only other thing that would make up for this- a bed. Or rather a real nice lounge chair that I quickly fell asleep in for 2 hours before some screaming kids woke me- brats!

My next flight to Dubai, I must have gotten the brother because he talked every bit of the 7 hour flight...I skipped the free booze! Then we landed in Dubai (which I am not fond of anyways. Too glizy and dirty and not women friendly) and promptly got lost for 2 hours in the airport. Not good for a 3 hour layover. When I found my way, alast...friends! People that I knew from most of the bases that I've been to. It was great to get reaquainted along with a great Doc that I've worked with. There was no sleeping on that trip either.So my arrival back to KAF saw me dragging my feet, and a welcome complete with a missile attack. I can definitely say that this has been an adventure that I will always remember!

A day in the clinic

I've reached a new high with stomach pains. Everyone's got it and not one had food poisoning. I just love how they first research it on the internet then come and ask for their favorite remedy. It makes my life so much easier- NOT. What do you think you don't need an exam? That's why I'm here. Now allow me to exert my expertise. You're probably wrong anyways!

Rare exception...a guy came in for antibiotics for a cough. He stated that he had Bronchitis. My buddy's patient until he called me over. I thought he said, "son of a ___", I think he does have it!" So I was asked to listen to lung sounds and I said, wheezes, rhonchi- sounds like Bronchitis. Poor fellow, you don't get eggroll with Bronchitis and you don't get antibiotics either...Thank you for playing, "Guess Your Diagnosis!"

Now back to stomach pain... super body builder with an achy gut who pops tons of all natural good for you supplements. Note, they're only good to line the makers pockets. Take a little, get little results, take a lot and see results quicker. Don't you believe it! That massness of pills is tearing a hole in his gut or it could be gallstones. Not pleasnt either way! And it makes for syrupy, beer looking pee that smells nasty! I would not want that coming out of me. The results is a cleaning out of the gastro system and x-nay of the vitamins-ay.

Period cramps are always my favorite. At least this young lady was good enough to tell me that the bare naked PX was out of her Midol. So she had to do the bent over bob and waddle over to see us. Truth is a good thing. Quick check later complete with a urine & pregnancy test, (you can never be too careful in celebacy-land) and wha- la! Menstrual pain- here's your meds, Bye- bye!

Or the one that had shots a week ago and now has stomach pain. First, no live vaccine was given. Second, no fever, no redness, no vomiting. Nice try! Get off the internet! You have a virus like everyone else.

Next up was retching and puking- oh my! It was almost enough to ask him to move over, I'm feeling ill. Turns out it was a fate close to death...the dreaded migrane- not stomach pain after all. Sorrowful for his pain and load him up with all we have. Researchers don't know why migraines happen or how to cure them. We do the best that we can do. I let him sleep in my very dark room until he could make his way to his. He was very greatful. I can now say I had a guy in my room! Too bad I have children older than him. Too funny!

So that's was a day in the clinic. Hope you had as much fun as I did!

Change

We've heard a lot about change lately. We want it better, easier, quicker and new! Obama even ran with the change platform and look where we are now- OK, we won't count that today. The company that I work for here in Afghanistan is no different. New guidelines, new policies, new tasks. We're told to embrace change, but we're resistant. Really, who wants to do something new when the old way worked just fine.

I love change. I see it as a new challenge to overcome. For instance, today is a beautiful day. At home, this would be an outdoor day. I would play a little in the garden and maybe do some yard work and end the day going shopping. Here in Afghanistan, we celebrate the day opening the doors and waxing the floor, (special wax that I ordered for such occasion). Shopping can still be done here and with gusto because you can negotiate price. We happen to have 5 bazaars on this FOB. It is most fun to dicker! For those hard to obtain items, I use Amazon! They are super fast, have free shipping for many items and is usually here in 5 days. In fact it's rumored that many contractors go home broke because of the Online shopping connection.

Another change I've had to endure is reading by Kindle. It's not a bad way to go, but it's nowhere as comforting as the smell and feel of a book. I give it an A+ for transportability. It's pretty light and I can squeeze many books into it without having to suffer a broken shoulder.

Wearing the same outfit-yuk! Uniforms shirts and hoodies. You can have them, but at least I know what I'm going to wear everyday. Drab,drab and more drab. The change I experienced when I went home on R&R was I went wild buying clothes. I hate clothes shopping, but I embraced the challenge with gusto! The only fashion statement that we can make with our uniforms is with our pants so I bought some cute leggings that look superb tucked into my combat boots. Doesn't that sound so stylish.

Speaking of girly, I wore make-up everyday that I was home. I had to keep up with my girls at home as they would rather not see "the mom" looking like "butch." I wouldn't dare to wear it here. That causes a lot of tongues wagging guessing why she's made up and who's she's sleeping with. It the same with cute panties. Only the girls get to see them, so if you wear them you must be doing somebody. So I changed for comfort.

Plenty of change here to go around. And there's a storm brewing tonight!

Back in the sandbox again

I'm back in the sandbox and I can not wait until this contract is over! Drama, bitching and more paperwork all around. That almost feels like enough said. I've been told not to put the company in a bad light, but does anyone know what company I work for??? Bueller? Bueller? No you don't because I never said. And unless you work with me or I nagged you until you applied and were hired on, you don't care. All you want is the details...Life in Afghanistan. Who voluntaily works in a war zone without a reason. It's not like I woke one morning and said, Gee, I think working under fire and threats sounds like fun. I think I will go to a war zone! No, It's about a job and money and add a little adventure for me and a chance to tell my own stories around the family pool table.

I originally wrote this blog to keep family and friends abreast of my goings on and it took off. I'm glad people want to know what happens here in contract-land and are willing to read me. Thank you. I do feel as if I am doing my patriotic duty and sharing a side of war that most would never guess at. I know you all want the gory details that I don't submit...really, why worry my Mom. But somedays I would almost prefer to write about the guts and courage of our soldiers. They are amazing! But that is not my story to tell. I am a support worker for the military and I am called a contractor.

Coming back was like a splash of icy cold water. I so remember why I did not miss the joint. More crap.... You can't please all of the people. Today, you can't please any of them. We live surrounded by walls that we may never pass through. It's mostly like being in jail with specific times to work and eat, times to shower. No real time to socialize, so we Skype a bit or maybe Facebook when we get a minute. Today, I was extremely worried of a friend's illness, did I get a "thanks for your concern?" Nope I got a freaked out ear full. I'm in a war zone. People act uncaracteristically hostile at the oddest moments. I get it. I went to read my emails from the time I was gone. I couldn't get them at home- Thank you God! All I read was disrespect for the medics over and over. Ok, so we are pea brain non-secretarial nincompoops, but I shutter at the no names/no brains that were promoted to a position to abuse the underlings. We get no respect.

On my return, I had the ultimate pleasure of meeting a man that the employees are calling the HR guru. God, (or the owner of the company) heard our cries. We now have a voice or at least a chance to vent. Respect or a kind word is just around the corner, I am hopeful. Life may resolve and be good again...Yippee! We work in the sandbox, but we should never be talked to or be treated like dirt. We shall see...

Another fun day at home

Another fun thing that I got to do while home was go to court. I experienced the judical system first hand. I'd love to say I went hog wild and ended up in jail trading quips with my best friend in a nearby cell, but that might have happened many years ago and fortunately did not. I instead had the boring obligation of going to testify as a witness. The court was happy that I happened to be home to do this proud honor. I was happy to do my part in seeing justice done.

I arrived early with a book that I read halfway through as I sat and waited for 3 hours. (justice takes time). Then we went into the courtroom to wait for another half hour, (that I'm sure is done purposely to make the criminals sweat it out). Thankfully the judge swept in and invited us to stay in our seats, (after all of that time my knees had locked up and a graceful standing was not to be had). The prosecutor gave his schmeal and then the lawyer for the perp expounded her crapola. I was immediately called to the witness stand. I swore to God to tell the truth, sat daintily and was then ripped to shreads by the perps lawyer. The judge kept reminding me to "just answer the questions", but I ask you...How do you answer questions when someone is relentlessly attacking you? I got my point across and without stooping to her level ... I'm proud to anounced that I never told the female lawyer how downtown tacky her hooker stockings were.

Thankfully the judge...although he remarked that I was a "hostile witness and the court did not appreciate it", (imagine that!), believed me and bound the angry nut over for trial. It was an exasting day! It nearly made me miss Afghanistan.