Am I home?

I'm home...what a bust. I was told by everyone on the base not to go home due to toughness in returning back to Afghanistan, plus time stands still at home and I've grown in ways I could never imagine. So I walked into my house to find that the kids moved all of my stuff out of my house...clothes, shoes, treadmill, bookcase. The nerve! Then I found that I'm home in time to fix the plumbing, the furnace and exterminate mice. I'm thrilled! I spent 2 days traveling for this...WTH? I hate mice and after all I put up with in hell all I wanted was a decent shower, blah, blah. Then I went in search of clothes to wear to church and I can't find a thing to wear. One shoe here, another there and where are my clothes?
So I go to church in pants and my trustie snowboots and got the most supreme slap in the face. A new family had just joined the church 2 weeks prior. Last week their son was in the garage and lit a kerosene heater- something he had done a million times before, except this time it exploded. His brother was burnt badly on both hands and his girlfriend is burnt over 70% of her body. The son died...just 20 years old. I'm in church just a day after the funeral and I can feel the pain coming from the congregation and the family. What a tragedy! Death is always unexpected and never welcomed. The pastor was present at the house the day of the explosion as the firefighters searched in vain for the missing son. He told of how the young Mom conforted her son's friends that came by, telling them to get in church because you never know when your time will come. Truthfully, I don't know if I would be thinking of God at a time like that. I watched her in church- she had brought some of her son's friends- one who committed his life to Jesus before all of us, and I wept for him, for them and the shame of my regrettment in coming home.
The grace of this family and the strength the Lord gave them was an extreme example to me of living the life God gives you. To find the joy and cherish every minute, even when I desperately want to thrash nasty little girls that throw me out of the house that I paid for. I only have 2 weeks to visit. I'm thankful that I have the resources to deal with the issues. I think I'll spend my time visiting all of my family and friends who I really missed and having fun for the short time that I have!
If you are near Dearborn, Michigan and would like to visit, please call or contact me here. There are parties I would like you to attend and I would like to see you!

Fun and homeward bound!!!

I'm on my way!!!! I'm going home! Because it's incredibly difficult to flight out of my FOB due to wind and other weather, I was scheduled to come to the big base 3 days early. At first I cringed but it's not always a bad thing being around the bosses. You tend to forget they were slugs like you at one time, especially when they send out memos and re-arrange spreadsheets enough for you to yank every bit of your hair out and theirs too, if they had some. But, this is a business and we all want to do the best job possible and in continuity with each other. It's makes everyones job that much easier.
Speaking of work today, I had a guy hooked up to a machine that reads his hearts electrical activity and we had a "Missile Alert."  The tones went off and I asked, Is that for real? He looked as if he was going to jump off that bed and run. My partner replies, "Settle down you two".Turns out it was a test/false alarm. I was busy and focused so I didn't hear that part and apparently neither did the patient cause his heart was jumping off the paper. Funny stuff!
It's great to be back with my buddy's Zee and Colt. I even got to bunk with Zee so my fear of brown recluse spiders hopefully will be a miss. I heard they were crawling all over KAF. We talked and laughed. I can't tell you how much they are the nicest of goof around friends. In fact I'm pranking Colt as we speak. He wanted me to put an out of order sign on the general use bathroom and I did. It read," Something died in here. Stay out. and in small letters it said, Colt was here last, just saying." Ofcourse Colt never came out and the bathroom was really broke down and someone used it...oh my, what a mess!
More fun was meeting the new doctors and seeing my old friends. It is very much happy times here at KAF. I've done the tourist thing and ate at the boardwalk and shopped at the PX and generally spent time with my buddies...I worked too, I did!! I've seen friends that I met from other parts of Afghanistan here too- what a surprise! Even I am starting to think I know everyone!
For example, my buddy Alex is here! Yeah! It's about time I seen someone that I talked into coming with... We're far away and it's wonderful to have someone near that is very familar. He showed me around the new clinic for physicals- I'd like to even stael the new guy for my base. He has loads of knowledge and is lots of fun.
And full circle back to fun and home...I can't wait to be home! I'm on my way!!!

You can't say that!

My tent is breathing! It was a beautiful day yesterday...heat wave weather, high of 43 degrees. If the wind would've settled down, it would've been perfect! I could see for miles and the air smelled fresh. Today is another day and we're forcasted for another snow/ sleet/ rain/ whatever, and of course the high winds that is really rattling the tent and giving it the breathing quality. Normally I would say about the weather, Bring It On! But, tomorrow I leave for my journey home- R&R time- finally! Ya Hoo! Maybe I won't get out for a day or 2...but I could think of worse places to be stuck at. I love it in this region. It's the bomb! Ooops... Can't use that word.
And don't say the obvious one: S-E-X, No, No, No! It might get somebody thinking about it. And how hilarious is this? Send very virile , healthy young men to a foreign land, then isolate them on a base with very few women (250-1), and tell them No! Ha! Ha! So funny. I laugh everytime I see someone sneaking around... Don't ask me their names I don't know.
 GUN is another word you never yell out...almost everyone has one, except the contractors and that leads to points of suspicion and raising of weapons and who might not be authorized, and pandamonium.. blah, blah...you get the idea.
 You can't go crazy here, even fiquratively speaking. For instance, if you might miss your flight (just saying) or have to work late and say that it's stressing me out or I am going to go psycho or any variation of that- they take that stuff seriously here. You could get a quick knock at your door by the local MP's with straight jackets & handcuffs and everyone else avoiding you saying," Nope, don't know 'em!"
 Hadji. Don't say that. It's a form of greatness and obedience and stature back home in Dearborn. A Muslim did something pretty special by making the trek to Mecca and it's a great honor. Here it's supposively used in a derogatory fashion. Something like calling me rich bitch...oh OK, you can call me that eventhough I'm not. I won't take offense.
 Beaners...the locals use that word for farts here. So, I heard it and said, "I'm a beaner" to which they replied,"you are gassy?" and I said,"no, I'm a Mexican" to which my buddy said that I run on when I talk and now the locals are totally confused and I'm laughing so hard I might toot!
Please don't never, ever say 8 Mile here. Everybody from every country knows about that and that it's  located in Michigan. First thing I'm asked is how far do I live from 8 Mile. Nothing about the Great Lakes, or Motor City or Henry Ford. It's all about 8 Mile. Thanks Eminem! (I live about 15 miles from there and NO, I've never seen Eminem, but if you keep bugging me I may say I know him personally and he wants to write a song about you bugging me!)
And never, ever, no way, under no circumstance say God. Unless you're praying- you can't say that! It means too many things to too many people here. I found from personal experience someone said the "GD" word. I was offended! Another used the big "G" in exasperation and I saw locals looking on in disgust. War are fought over the very principal, so shut you mouth...and don't say that either. It's considered very rude and demeaning. Use instead.."please refrain." But that sounds a little uppity PC to me. I would instead choose not to say anything at all. How about that!
We are all on a learning curve with plenty to experience from each other.  Silly days in many ways- That's why I love it here...other than the war thing. I'll save that for another day.

Taking a walk

On a clear day...I like to take a minute for myself both here and back home and just enjoy what the Lord gave me to see and enjoy. I enjoy the colors of nature, viewing the goings on of animals and insects and of course people watching. At home, I go to one of the many parks or walking paths near my home. There's one located downhill from a Mall that is incredible and is isolated. The path is clear and the vegetation is overgrown and it's quiet. Or I just take a walk to my favorite park where I know of many people that walk daily and I can get a bit of exercise and a little interaction. It's a daily thing for me.

In Afghanistan on the bases, we are limited to inside the barriers, (wall is what we call it, but it's Hesco's or barbed wire with guards to make sure we stay in and the talameanies stay out). So nature walking is very limited and we all have the natural curiosity of what's on the other side. There are very few places that you can go for alone time and especially if you're female. we are reminded constantly that this is a war zone and while base rules fall under US law, you must obey the country rules too and can be tried under Afghan laws. Us women folk do not walk alone in isolated areas- even the ones that say they can handle themselves. Oh I walk a lot, but not for pleasure. Merely to get from duty "A" to duty "B". There's no climbing the walls where I'm at now. They are pretty strict at this base. I finally found an opportunity to walk the perimeter with a fellow that is trustworthy and Safety is his middle name. It was amazing and very muddy. I saw many locals at home and at work in their daily lives and got to view the countryside. It's amazing what surrounds these FOB's.

Speaking of, I can't believe that all the research that I did prior to coming here and having been here for months and I just found out that the Taliban is a tribal name and we all may be working side by side with them, good and bad. I had wondered how they picked that name. It even sounds a little frightening (me being a sheltered American), but knowing that took a little of the sting away.  Sometimes it's safer for me to stay in obliviousland or maybe it didn't register because- really, who cares. It only affects me at this time. Afghanistan has gone through many would be conquerers and other than Alexander the Great, (still the only one to conquer Afghanistan), it's yet to happen again. They are an adaptable people, long suffering. They don't trust us and most don't trust them. What a life. I am learning a few phrases to speak to them. What a can of worms I've opened. Now they only speak to me in their language. It's really fun eventhough I can't understand them half the time! But, the other half I can! I continue to hope and pray for peace, freedom, comfort and opportunity for an enriched life for all.

Life is crazy!

Life is crazy and in Afghanistan it's no exception. As I plan my trip to visit my family back home halfway into my contract, I reflect on all the things that are and of all the things I will leave behind and all the things I've yet to see.

 I will leave behind friends from all over the world. People that I've grown close to and have been through rough times with. (example: running out of food, water, supplies together). Also, a man walked up to me and called me by name. I'm thinking," who the heck is he?" Turns out it was a guy that I talked to over 4 days when we were holded up in a bunker with others during many missile attacks. He made a friend there and saw me as his long lost buddy and so it was. People move around so quickly here. It is not unusual to catch up with someone at another base. How do you leave them
behind? You grow so close and then move on, to see them again and pick up where you left off... but move on we must.

When I come back, I have more to experience on my adventure. I have the dreaded Camel Spiders to see. Word is they run very fast, always sneaking into your shadow to stay cool. They have big powerful pinchers and they can't kill you but can give you a nasty infection, plus they're suppose to be on the big side. Very scary! Then they have Brown Recluse Spiders here. I saw a bite that was as big as an extended hand with an ulcer the size of a penny. It was only a couple of hours old. To treat this the Doc would have to dig the flesh out and stitch it up then use antibiotics and pray. Also, I am praying I will miss the Taranula migration. They have a path and nothing gets into their way and it's over, under, through. They also have kangaroo rats here. Doesn't that sound cute and like something you don't want to miss. Except, they're as big as cats. The mice are kindda cute. They are tan with white underbellies and round ears, but again they're rodents. Then there's cats and dogs that you can't pet or play with because this country is #1 in terms of rabies. Camels will be out and about, but you can't go near them in case their humps have been equipped with exposives. Same with sheep and goats.
What a life!

That's another thing... This winter has been harsh here this year, a new kind of hell. I told someone that it was the worse conditions that I've experienced so far. The Afghani's are dying, especially children and it was featured on CNN. At times we don't have heat or lights or power...They never had our comforts, and not in clothes or shoes either. My first snow, I was cute to see the children as they saw snow for the first time- playing in it with their bare feet and no coats, how sad. But when you think it can't get any worse, the sun rises and it's a new kind of hell. Conditions, limited clothing, no personal space, always on- no time to relax, no time to reflect, no "ME" time, (24/7 for a year- minus R&R), and so many come down with illnesses to get a little space- the tiniest of breaks. And then, the continued and always changing paperwork, theft, blame, accusations, threats, backstabbing- whip, whip (NO not from fellow campgoers- that would never be tolerated from each other!). Food & water shortages, sickness and no medical care, limited time to worship and some must do it in secret. No reinforcements or supportive people in charge...so tired... Is there anyone that we can turn to?
Missile attacks and ground attacks. Taliban everywhere. We are in a war zone and sometimes it's hard to differentiate who the good guys really are. We give to those that need: our clothes, shoes, socks, hats, scarves and do without ourselves. We pinch cardboard from the garbage to line our walls for warmth and to keep the mud off the floors while others need it to line their shoes. It doesn't work or maybe just a little. And to top it off, everyone worries about the threat of write ups and being fired and
will "they" let us return from R&R to work again. It's crazy and an unrealistic way to live. To expect humans to live productively and constantly under these conditions. But, the silver lining occurs and we still we have each other and I can't tell you how it happens, but we make it work and we care for each other and become a family far from home.

Traveling on

Shots and missiles for most of the day as we peck away, working our butts off to get the paperwork project completed. Always another memo and change and WTH? At one point I asked my buddy how long have they been shooting? She said, all day. Are they getting closer or am I dreaming...yeah it's a nightmare! One we've gotten use to. Another episode of "I did not take cover." We were never directed to...and it could've been practice- who knows. We are on a needed to know basis. I've had missiles fly over my head, then a minute later hear the take cover warning. "Couse my butt is in the air by then.
But this is another day. We took some of our new Army buddies around the base to check out the sites. Always the tourist guide, I seem to love where ever I am and I keep an eye on my path- very dangerous walk indeed. We just had more than a foot of snow, then rain all night. It's a mess out there. Slush on top of big rocks and snow and mud and you can sink in surprise holes to your knees. So as I'm walking, I noticed some incredibly beautiful rocks that are indigenous to this area: pink quartz, black shiny rocks with white veins and something shiny and dark green, rocks stain red from copper. Really beautiful stuff in the mists of so much crap.
Speaking of crap...I'm starting the countdown for R&R. I was very resistant to this because I'm an early packer. But as I get freaked out by what needs to be sent home prior to my departure, I can't help but notice that the days are slipping by. Words of wisdom come frequently from my fellow campgoers of how I will not sleep for days due to the quiet. Or the one that I will miss this place and my friends and I will let R&R slip by too quickly. Ho! Ho! Yes, I will miss my buddy's, but I will not dwell on the fact that I'm finally back in the bosom of my loved ones. So I will heed the advise and be on my way to my next adventure- Paris...then home. I will enjoy the adventure and remember that all things good and bad are just a memory...

They call me ...

Another weird day...snow storm. I don't even remember what 140 degrees felt like. That was the temperature when I landed here. Today's a nice day if you're a penquin. A foot of snow by morning...oh goodie! The bonus was, it's also too cold for patients and I still had a few that braved the weather to see me. I'm very honored.
I picked up a little Dari/ Afghani language and the locals get quite a kick out of it when I said, Hello! How are you? My name is Maria- ay. I don't think they talk to women very much, but I'm a weird, very friendly American and they are getting over that. It caused a chatter and smiles all around. They started speaking all at once and I said, "Whoa cowboy!" They knew that I using the universal slang for "STOP" and we all had a chuckle. Another reason why I think they are getting use to me, when they came in sick or hurt and I needed to expose the area, it used to be a big deal and they would only show what they thought I needed to see. Women aren't worth much and we're pretty much ignored as is their culture. They have a pain, say in their leg, they would actually pull up the trouser leg and could not understand why I had to see the part above and the part below the pain. Wow, Do you really think I get a kick out of seeing your nasty boo boos. (well I do but that's another story). Now they strip down. You try pantomining that you want to see one leg...and before you know it's oh, oh, here's a blanket. Cover that up for pete's sake!
Speaking of covering...One local man asked me to cover my head. I thought, no big deal. I have my hoodie and it's cold anyways. I said, Thank you" and did it. The response I got throughout was different. One guy said he wouldn't have done it for we are on an American base. Another girl said they never asked her to cover it up. I asked her if she ever talks to them and she was appalled. I fiqure that I'm trying to make a good impression for all Americans. They look up to us and most times we think we're all that too. I just want to get along.
I am getting a kick out of the locals saying hello at all hours of the day, instead of the morning "Hello's" only. It's very sweet. One came up to me yesterday to have a conversation. I try to speak very slowly 'cause I can run on as we all know. He said he likes to talk to me because he can almost understand everything I say. I laughed so hard. If the folks back home could see me now! I mess up the English language on a regular basis and make my own slang words that I can then pass on. Can we all say Col..yes, yes I like to drop my last letter (d) or my word way back in blogs for lots of pus...oh forget it. 
I also have some Romanian buddy's that are trying to teach me their words. It's almost like a game. If I say something wrong, they say zero! I met them at their covered, very warm smoking shack. It's fun when I'm walking around and I hear someone yell out, Maria! Hello! I don't know who the heck they are or if I ever met them before, but they're Romanian and what a tight group. They weren't very friendly at first, but they are now!
News Bulletin... I talk to everyone! I now have a couple new names and I can't recall if they've always called me that. They call me Doc. I can handle that, but they also call me "Sir?" Hopefully it's a sign of respect, but just in case Tina sent me makeup. I should be back to Mame anyday now.
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