Pox and other stuff

Gang! I wrote this for the company newsletter, but it may get dumped because I'm just a goof. I'll try to do serious another day, so check it out!              

In the countryside of Afghanistan on a quiet night on FOB Lagman all heck broke loose when a little guy from Indian walked through our clinic door. He said he was itching and felt sick with fever. His boss that came with him said,” It looks to me to be Chicken Pox.”  Now why did I spend all that money on education?  His boss was right!  So, we started our battle against Varicella Zoster.

With Casey as our fearless leader who stayed up all night writing a plan of attack and containment we gathered all potential clients who may have been exposed either by shared living quarters or by shared ventilation.  We came up with 17 contestants that were not thrilled about what they might have won.  Oops!  There were 16-one got away to KAF before we knew about it!

Next, each snatched a screening questionnaire - like it might get them out of homeroom, that asked about recent illness or blister like rashes and if they got the vaccine or had a history of  Chicken Pox. You guessed it - they all said they had them as a child in relief.  Fortunately, the 8 DynCorp employees really did have proof of their shots and were spared the horror of 2 weeks of isolation. We don’t use the word quarantine around here as that might cause a panic - like “Chicken Pox” wasn’t enough to cause them to run in horror.

We were then left to contain 7 non-DynCorp men and as space is a problem everywhere, they were left in their separate rooms.  Thankfully, we only had to daily monitor 2 of the men who had travelled together and had recently arrived to Lagman.  With only one with active pox a plan was made to see not only to his disease process, but also his daily basic needs.

Special thanks needs to be given to the many on Lagman that helped during this difficult period:

Jason, “boss man”, who pitched in and gathered meals for “Pox Ville” as the guys like to call themselves.

 Thanks to the cooperation of all the DFAC workers and especially Supervisor L who gave special permission for take-out food.

Billeting, the PAX terminal, the cleaning crew (Ecolog), the library who generously donated activities and books that they knew they would never see again, (decon darling) HVAC and Electrical crews that came running when the isolation tent lost power.  To all the men and women who stayed out of the way (and out of the guys only “private time” facility), I humbly thank you all.

To the FST Military men and women who gave their valuable resources, (the washer and dryer for bleaching clothes and linens) and donating replacement items for our detainee…very appreciated.

Lastly, I’d like to give a standing ovation to Camp Lagman who proved that “We Are Family!”

We are the proud DynCorp Medics: Casey, Marilette and Anna “Maria” who make it happen!

                            

Pox, poop and other stuff (Mon 12/19/2011)

   Well, not to sound smug or anything...but there's a Chicken Pox outbreak at the big base. Not that anyone wanted to help us out with a plan to attack and contain. No! So we are sending the hard worked out plan that Casey stayed up all night to write up and I hope he gets a pat on the back. He's a good hardworking guy! Now I just wish he'd get his ass back here and take care of Poxsville. Don't worry Casey. I'm handling it. And I better not get Chicken Pox. (You did say I had them as a kid- right Mom?)

    The boss called and asked if we wanted anything from the big base. HO! Ho! That's a loaded question. How about some respect and kind words. If you can't give me that, how about some Varicella vaccine. Oops, none to be had. Oh well, nothing for me.

Today, I spent the day collecting poop and testing. Fun for all! That and the paperwork is really making my day. Someone, somewhere at sometime had better come in really sick pretty soon or I am going to scream! I am not made for secretarial work. That's why I choose the classy career of Paramedics. They get to sleep in between calls and sometimes that's all night! We can sneak into the drive-in and most outdoor events and everybody thinks your job is cool. I hear, what's the worse call that you've  ever had, like we're some kind of saints. Actually, the worse call I ever had is not the one you want to hear about. It's the one where I did everything right and they still bit the dust! Not that I'm complaining here. And It's not like I actually have to go fetch the poop myself. It's just that Paramedics don't do poop and they certainly don't need to type. But, I can say that my typing is coming along. I can type fairly accurately with my left hand and I'm still pecking away with my right.

    But I can research! I was working on a new surface for the Operating Room and Triage floors with the construction team. It's got to be stuff that is on hand, because the Pakistan border is closed, (the trucked in route for some supplies) and to order stuff to use would take 6 months.  I can't wait to see if they use my idea. I also worked out a plan for giving oral presentations on hand washing.   A huge deal here because a little cut one day turns into major surgery the next. So, I give my speech first to the Dining hall and then...the world! Ha! Ha! I'm keeping myself busy. The little social butterfly at her best! Not to sound smug or anything.                 

Compassion for itchers (Sat 12/17/2011)

    While you  are all getting ready for Christmas, I am having my own kind of fun. It's Chicken Pox at the ol' base. Too many kids here did not get their shots and now will be isolated for 4- 10 days. Well, it's actually only one guy with actual pox, but he's been doing the chicken dance around here for 2 weeks spreading these little gifts to his buddy's who also did not get shots, so they will all suffer. These buggers are extremely contagious. Since there is no space anywhere, they get confined to their rooms for the time. We've had to arrange for food, showers, bathroom time, laundry, and funtime (so they don't go stir crazy), and we now make house calls. Wait, wait, wait...not me. They happen to be all men. Go fiqure. No women allowed in male tents. Thankfully our guy medic is on the ball. He has had to write guidelines on how to handle this mess and he did a fabulous job- though I did help a little. I'm the research queen!

    So last night after doing research on every patient that I've had thus far- because it's Afghanistan and no one just gets the sniffles, I went to feed at the trough- (good word, doesn't that make me sound very tired?). It's Friday! Steak Day! And also seafood day: Lobster, Crab legs, Shrimp, Scallops and MY FAVORITE!! Don't my family know it. We always have some seafood for Christmas and special events... and I'm so allergic. But they really take care of the food here. If you lose weight, it was only because of the extreme effort and sacrifice on your part. So I got my steak and I thought about trying just a little crab legs (No, No, No) just to see if I'm still allergic here too, when all of a sudden the cook puts scallops on my plate. I have never broken out from scallops before and they are the poor man's lobster, so how could something so cheap sounding be so bad for you- right? They where wonderfully breaded and deep fried and it was only 4 (giant) scallops. So I furtively stashed away with my bounty. I looked at them through most of the meal before I took a little bite and chewed....nothing. And swallowed.. I waited for 5 minutes for the familiar ear itch that let me know that I screwed up again...nothing. We all know how this story ends... after 2 scallops, the ear itch started and I stopped. By the time I got back to the office, the rash started. I took myself off to dreamland with my 2 little pink pills full of renewed sensitivity and compassion for my fellow itcher in time and a reminder to never do that again.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!            

I'm back!

I work in a clinic where we do Occupational Medicine, which means sick and injured at work folks. Nobody's dying in our clinic. It's a different line of work for me. We examine the patient and give them medication or whatever. I stumbled around a bit at first because I had to learn to downshift the care that I'm used to giving.
 Tonight, just when I was going to bed, a mass causalty came in to the Army hospital. We got a page, "need extra hands." (excitement coursed my veins) I don't want to be glad about others pain, but medically speaking- hurray!!! This is what I came for. It was Afghani's in a car accident and I am so sorry to say that one is dying from incredible head trauma. He will be sent to lie in wait with his loved ones at his side. (I'm so sorry for him and for his family) No visitors here. This is a very secured facility.
I was able to finally put my talents to work. I was not fumbling Maria in the ER. I did what I do best! I got to cut off clothes in record time and it was even remarked on. I heard some soldier say, how'd she do that? I said, practice, lots of practice (wink). I was able to calm a patient as they worked on him. This is a talent that the Lord gave me like no other and I will boost in his glory because I can! And I still have my IV skills. It's just like riding a bike. No one could get this one kid and I was feeling around without a tournique and blocking with my hand and I asked if I could give it a try...BAM! First try! The Michigan medic at her best. (The crowd roared! Ok it was all in my head, but I still got it.) Actually, I would have strung up the rope myself and jumped if I had missed or hid myself under a huge rock for the rest of my contract if I had embarassed myself. Please don't tell me that I can get bilateral lines in minutes in a rocking, bumpy, going 80mph ambulance and I can't get a line on a patient lying in a bed. We do have days when we miss and I thank the good Lord today was not one of those days. The stuff I saw was really amazing. I equate it to watching Nascar as they change the tires in seconds, so did the team work on these patients as one unit and they were generous to make room for the new girl. They performed exams, X rays, IV's, wound care and bandaging, put bones back in place, so many things and I just hopped right in and grabbed stuff and assisted and knew what was needed next. For a change, I was in my element. I watched while a man's acetabulum was set back in place or (in plain english), his thigh was out of the hip socket and it was popped back in place back by 2 doctors and a nurse, not an easy feat. The pop as it went back in was like a champagne cork. I saw some amazing stitching and so intricate and quick. This emergency room is just that; ER, surgery, (stabilization at it's best), and then the patients go elsewhere to other hospitals for further care and recuperate. We were done with 5-6 critical patients in an hour and out they went. Amazing. It's just what I needed to get my groove back. Can I scream out Thank you Jesus just one more time!

Give me a hand

My first patient from FOB "The little city that could" has been a nail biter. He came in with pain to his little finger, possible joint pain, after enduring it for 3-4 days. (#1. Why don't people seek treatment day  one?)  At first, it looked to be a strain. Maybe he bent his finger back and then slept on it, and then did it for 3 more days. (It could happen!) He had no breaks in his skin, so it couldn't be an infection- right? I looked through different magnifying glasses on different days looking for something that would give me a clue to what is happening to his hand. He kept coming back day after day...swelling increased, more pain...

Right in the middle of my storytelling electrical comes in and states they will be shutting off the power city wide....Stay tuned! With the power off, I type in the dark. See how dedicated I am to my task!

To continue, we are lucky here with Military resources. What great guys! We should not take advantage of their kindness, but occasionally they will have mercy on us and do an X- ray on our patients. So it was. We had my patient X-rayed. No breaks, nothing showing up and nothing like a dislocation. So I treat him according to what I see, muscle strain. I spoke with the patient and it seems as if he wants to go home. Sometimes that happens that the workers will come in for a fake complaint to go home. So go home! No one is keeping anyone against their will. It may be an issue of saving face- I don't know. Please just leave. We get paid here. We are not in chains. This patient has a little baby and a youngster at home and has been home once already and hasn't been here that long. But he is not faking an illness.  Still I view his hand and it's now swollen and turned black. (WTH?) We again truck over to the military for a second opinion and that Dr. is perplexed as well. The recommendation is to try him on antibiotics for an internal infection of unknown origin. The doc here approves that. This is keeping me up nights. I have done so much research and studying of different diseases. I worry for the poor patient, eventhough I can't be sure what his angle is and he tells me that I have 2 days to fix him. (Yeah, OK...). Today, we are finally making headway. His hand looks better. Yeah! Only in Afghanistan... My success is short lived...  Another patient walks in with discoloration to his hand. Maybe it's something else. What is this crap? Disease is rampant here in Afghanistan and you just never know what you will find...Unbelieveable!

The little city that could (12/12/11)

Today is day 3 of my new assignment. This base is old and run down. It was never meant to be a permanent base, but here we are. It totally explains why there are few bathrooms or nice showers. The base just grew without any growth in the frivolities- if that's what you want to call the shit-er. I had originally nicknamed it hell hole. Today it's a beautiful day. Overnight, the stars shine brightly, (there are rarely clouds overhead) and it's so dark here at night, with a crispness that fills the air. The solar eclipse that you were viewing last night was the same one that I saw and it brought me closer to home. I could call this place quaint, but no. It's filled with cement blocks 10 feet tall and hescos, (walls made of burlap and wire filled with sand- an excellent bullet barrier, 12 feet high). So I think this is "The little city that could." It could___, fill in the blanks. Current temperatures are 25 as the night time low and during the day it gets up to 60, so we peel it off layer by layer. No rain or snow as of yet, but I hear that it's a-coming.

I'm in the mountains. I don't do heights, but I figured anything once. I love it! The view is incredible. Everywhere you look is something else spectacular. Still no trees, but I heard there's an abundance of green and poppies after the rainy season. The air is so clean. I still have the Kandahar crud stuffing up my sinuses, but it's slowly going away... and I can breath here! We have a city nearby that we overlook and even that is very interesting with it's palaces contrasting with the slums and the mosques and the busyness of the place. I only wish that I could stroll down there and get some hummus and fresh pita bread. I still have no idea what city it is, but I understand that the drug Lords are paid well to leave us alone.  It's a place where you wish you were a photographer and then realize that you're not suppose to post photos anyway.

 I have taken so many pictures of all of the places that I've seen and people that I've met. Unfortunately, I am always the waterfalls when it's time to leave those places. Tears just fall. You get so close to people here. They become your family. You trust them blindly and develop these bonds that feel as if you've known them forever and you can't ever imagine a day without them. And then it's time to move on. I can already tell that I'm in such a place. I have my own room in a tent with 3 other girls- it holds 10 people (maybe that's why we don't get heat...why waste it on us 3.) The girls were most welcoming and set me up with clean sheets and a small tour of our immediate area. We are considerate of each other. Rarely are there people who will two-face you here and I'm counting on the TCN's to get even with those because they are treated worse by those same people. What's acceptable in one culture... you never know. ..you really have to watch your P's & Q's sometimes.

For example, I'm here with Romanians this time. Very virile, horn toad guys. Must remember to steer clear of them on my midnight runs in my jammies. Their female soldiers wear dangling earrings and don't have rifles- hum? Very few Bosnians but I have found some. There's also Afghani's and some Arabs. AND there is also a huge population of Michiganders... about 8 of us! Almost enough for egg roll, (with 12 you get egg roll, get it?) It's different here versus the southern region,  because in the north they like Americans and do not like the Taliban. 

We walk, no vehicles here. There's only a few trucks and some heavy machinery. So,  I'm counting on losing some poundage here. My body better not turn on me and accommodate for all of this walking. I think that I should get something out of all these miles that I huff everyday. Never you mind that I should eat better. Those damn nutrition guides are posted everywhere. Just when I'd like a bit of pecan pie, I must reach over the calorie counter to get at it and it reminds me enough to skip it this once. However it did not work today. My favorite, chocolate chip cookies were on the menu and I saw them from way across the hall- yum!  So I grabbed just one. As I left the DFAC, I took a good sized bite to find...raisins- WTH??? YUK! Nothing is worse that expecting chocolate and getting something healthy. Who sabotaged that I might ask? Some health nut wizard chef would be my answer.  So, I guess I will go and check out my surroundings and enjoy the last snow free day. The wind is blowing...here it comes. Forecast for tomorrow is snow!


 

                                               

Another day in ... (12/11/11)

This is not just another day in hell hole....

First I met up with another women my age- wow! Rare...most of the people here are..ummm- not my age. I was just thinking that maybe I was too old for this job. Thanks to GI Joe, I'm having second thoughts. I should've resorted to the old Maria and just told him to "F" off. That always made me feel better. But it's a new day and a new Maria and I am pleased to say that it feels really good to be nice all of the time....even when my teeth are clenched!

 My palate was discombobulated from my recent encounter with GI Joe and it left a bad taste in my mouth, so I haven't been running around thanking them for their service. Today, I happened upon some soldiers by the smoking tent, except these guys had unfamiliar uniforms on. I was checking them out, (wink!) when I realized that they were in the Navy. I stuck up a conversation and told them all about my sister and uncle who also served in the Navy. We discussed 911 and the World Trade Center and they told me of some of their stories...well guess what? I had some stories to tell back! Yes! This is the reason I came here, the adventure! So as we parted company I said from the heart, "Thank you for your service!" (and thank you for reminding me that most soldiers are the good guys)

We are getting split up. Oh No!!! I'm just getting used to my new team and off one goes. And they would take the one that I go to chow with. The powers that be said they wanted a guy. This has got to be a first. Guys are a dime a dozen here. There's a woman behind every tree- and no trees- ha, ha, ha! So for once I get to stay. Not that I'm happy about that. It's still freezing in my tent, but good news is that I still have my heavy duty sleeping bag. I just can't get out of the sucker in the morning. I put on what clothes that I can and hold my breath...(I was thinking this morning as I was doing it- just why am I holding my breath? If you don't see your breath or the frost, is it still as cold?)

And another thing happened. Some guys came to get me to see if I wanted some furniture that was getting tossed. I'm touched that they thought of me. People are so nice here. I guess I will have to think of a new name for this place. So out with hell hole in with.... stay tuned!