Can't we all get along? 11/26/11

        I really appreciate the thought of some of you sending me gifts, especially the Parkas- but, I do have yet have a home base and I won't get anything for months if sent. Thanks for the thought. It is very appreciated.
Memories are what occupies everyone's mind today. We have just been though Thanksgiving and thoughts of our family's and friends ... One old fart put on heavy metal music today, hoping that the coolness of it would fertilize his balding head and remove the paunch of his gut as it rolls over his belt. No, I don't like this fellow...read on. Old times, past times to remember and reflect. But across the street...
The servicemen- these days are the things of memories. "Thank you for serving: is my greeting to them all. There's a definite distinction between them and us contractors. Except with me. How fortunate I am!
Today, I went to lunch with the rest of my office, 5 of us in all. As every Mom knows when kids are in a group, no matter how big or small they must be in an even number because somebody will get left out. Today was my day. Unfortunately it's happened many times this week- wah, wah! Another story, another day. I have spent many meals this week with other friends due to the viciousness of one person. Today I was invited to accompany the work crew and then they sat at a table for four. I could have pulled a chair over and been in the in the way- inconveniencing everyone else. It was like it was planned . You just don't sit 5 at this table. I thought of being mean and doing it anyway, but I was being intentionally left out and it really hurt my feelings. (Visual here)...Most people dress in dull desert colors with the exception of us- medical. We stick out like a sore thumb or a supreme target for the Taliban in our bright ocean deep blue shirts that also come in fire engine red! So, there I am, pushed away, odd kid out and slowly I scan the room for a friend. I can do this. I'm better than them- sniff. I have lots of friends. I walk tentatively towards some Bosnians that do not speak English well but will be most welcoming, guaranteed! A soldier at the same table who I knew not at all was looking at my shame and whispering to his buddy's and as I approached, they stood and asked me to join them for lunch. My eyes teared up. It was great conversation and they knew me from saying hi and my thank yous to them - which they thought was kind. It was me who was very grateful. After lunch, the Bosnian guys were walking with us and people came up to me talking about the snub, and how wrong...blah, blah. It was big gossip that day. and when I was asked about it, I just said, there was no problem. I was just having lunch with my friends!                                       

It's messed up here - blog with a picture of the Poo Pond at sunset 11/25/11

Afghanistan weather is weird. It beats Michigan weather hands down. You wake to winter and it's freezing, and you spend the day till 3 pm peeling layers off until the high of 80 or somewhere around that. Then you're ready for a nice dip in a pool that's located in dreamland, because the only water around here is bottled. This is the very reason that I had to bring a little of every season in clothing. When I go to bed the tent is still hot and stuffy from the day, so someone has the air conditioning on. My big news was I finally got passed the remote control to the heater and air conditioner units. YEAH! Only the highest in seniority get to hold it and while I moved from FOB to FOB, I still had the highest seniority, once I returned back to Shangri La. I asked to move to the tent with all of my friends only to have all of the bitches...oops, my friends move to their own assigned private rooms. And they left me with the TCN's, (third country nationals) who don't or won't speak English. The temperature control units are located near the ceiling and only an amazon could reach it with a ladder, then they need to know how to work it. Mere mortals have no power to reach it, hence the remote. And I have it! YEAH! In Kenya, it must be 200 degrees year round because those little girls are freezing all of the time. They walk around with their 70's coats: warm, short, furry collars... ala Pat Benatar. I can be comfortable or I can be nice because I'm totally surrounded by Kenyans as my UK buddies have gone home as well. Then my good buddy in billeting (room assignments) had some mercy on me and gave me my own room too. Very big no, no for a passer by as me. Short are my success'.
The class system for every particular country is very visible here.. Top dogs are in top positions and the lowest do very low jobs: sort garbage, do laundry, pot washers, clean toilets. Jobs for which somebody has to do and I'm very grateful and always thank them for their duty to their task.
It's also amazing that everyone has to be able to read and write English to work here, but the lowly masses can't speak it. This is suppose to change this year if they want to keep their jobs, Amazing! It's more weeding of the haves and don't want. You'd think the hiring process would have identified these things that could get in the way. I have no problem with them. I just write it down and have them read. It works out just fine. Another thing is who do you think will do these crappy jobs for peanuts- not Americans. I was thinking of jumping ship and was offered a job doing something totally different. They told me the pay and I swore it was too low per year...so, No Thank You...Then the guy said, No, It's per month. I'm sending my resume tonight! Pray for me! The job is only available to Americans. I don't know what to say- WTH or thank you God or both. What a world that we live in.                       

Thankful 11/24/11

Today I made the Happy Thanksgiving call to the family. I cried and got a little homesick- something that never happens here because they keep me pretty busy and even down times is just another minute blending into the last. So my call went something like this...hold on, we're taking group pictures...love you, (snap). OK, we held up the phone so you are in the shot too. FUNNY! That's a picture I'll always remember. I'm very thankful for my family and my friends too!

Let's talk about a girl in hell base. She was a very bad girl. She pointed out a very wrong of a medic's performance to a patient and subsequently was yelled at, (because she baby's patients), and now sits in the corner getting her licks, (at another base). Priorities of upper management can be so backwards and especially in a war zone when you don't have resources: remediate the abusive medic- maybe send them to PTSS (post traumatic stress syndrome) counseling, or something in that line. NOOOOO, punish the girl who told! Say that her skills are sub par. Say that she is too friendly.
So she sits being watched at all times. She had a babysitter in the form of a badge that allows you no access to food or showers, wander alone to church or the store or even the laundry mat. And the beat all, make the babysitters many of the people that she works with. How sick can your co-workers get from having to tote you around when they'd rather be home after a hard day's work. I'm thankful that I got my big girl badge yesterday and can go most anywhere that I want by myself!

So she prays for the Lord's strength, endurance, hope, knowledge, peace and she acknowledges all the blessings that have come out of this trial... meeting others like her and co-workers who slip and tell her it will soon end, it's happened to so many others. And she just puts one foot in front of the other day in and day out with the grace of God and forever holding his hand. I can not imagine how non- Christians get through life. Who do they depend on? Who gives them hope? Trials must happen to strengthen us. It rains on the saved and unsaved alike. I know that and I welcome the chance to grow in my Lord always. I am thankful that I believe and am firmly in Christ!

So a story to end my blog is about the poo pond that is getting far too much attention. I even bought the t-shirt. I can't wear it here...that would be disgusting when that's all you can smell at times no matter where you are. I was eating breakfast yesterday and the smell wafted through. That was the end of that meal! Someone actually brought in pictures of a beautiful sunset over the poo pond. It has finally made it to the big times and is now a tourist attraction. It has cute little signs around it such as like Area 51 Poo, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, you get the idea. Unfortunately, the last guy who jumped into the poo pond on a dare, died. Put shit together with lots of chemicals that will eat you alive and you get a quick ticket to heaven. And the smell is a constant reminder that everything can kill you here. This is the end of the world. The sign that says, "Welcome to Afghanistan"  should say,"Welcome to hell." I am thankful that even though I work here, I was born in the USA!

So I give thanks along with everyone for another year of life, and always for my freedom, health and love from all and to all.....Happy Thanksgiving!

How much is too much? I snuck a blog 11/24

How much is too much? I wish today's blog was funnier, but war is not funny and this is just one episode.
Nights ago on the tiny FOB-foreign operating base, that I lived on, the military conducted a raid on our camp. No ex-pats were bothered, (Americans, British). I watched as foreign nationals (FN's) shoved their possesions here and there to hide stuff that would be confiscated. Things like laptops, hard drives, cell phones, flash drives, I-pods.Not understanding what was happening, I thought that maybe a spy had gotten on the base. It was with extreme horror that they seemed to focus on the Bosnians and Kenyans on this particular raid. They searched and frisked..I watched in horror and disbelief as my buddies were taken away. The feeling was simular to your drunk and driving friends. They won't let you drive because it's their car and, "hey! I'm not that drunk". They are impervious to death. So, you try to follow them but, sure enough they get pulled over and when the police try to arrest them, you sit helplessly by wanting to run after the cop to defend them pleading..He really is a good guy. I've know him and I can vouch for him...please don't arrest him! Then your buddy pulls a gun and your resolve is shot to hell. So this was how it was. I watched as the US soldiers took one after another of my buddies into custody. After they searched them they were taken to their rooms for a search for prohibited items. I was asked to accompany the bomb sniffing dogs with their masters in the girls compound. I asked them what it was the dogs were searching for? Bombs! They were searching for BOMBS! They can be made with hairspray, strike matches, after shave, ect... I had no idea. It's amazing the crap that can be acquired to kill someone else. And when did Bosnia become the enemy? When did they make the super dangerous to Americans watch list? Am I stupid? Then I watched as the military brough out bags of stuff that I now knew could be used to mutilate me without a thought for my family, friends or children. Or was that harmless stuff used for their everyday comfort? I am suspicious of everyone on a normal day, but even that side swiped me. SO, after everything was over, the Bosnians- my buddies looked at me with disgust because I was one of them- American. Gone were the conversations spoken in English because I was present. I asked if everyone was OK. One guy said, why are you worried, you are American. I said I wasn't worried for myself but for them and then I left gut punched and out of breath.
Today was another day and I'm more liked than ever by them. I should be on a box of Wheatie's according to the Bosnians. Because I worried for them? Gone were the steotypes TCN, FN, AMericans, because I cared for them. WTH? What kind of a world do I live in? Does this make me less suspicious? Actually I go with the crowd that says anything for my safety. But again I will say that the good Lord did not put me here to blow me up. So when is it enough or how much is too much? I'll let you know another time...missile attack and going to the bunkers!                                               

Flu Shots, get your Flu Shots!

This week we are giving mass flu shots through-out the camp. I'm the no pain girl. I have studied and took classes on how to lessen a patients pain and even how to relieve pain- But shots? There's no getting around it. It Hurts!

No one likes to get fooled into a shot. You know the game, "Look, there goes Johnny Depp", to make them turn their heads while you stab them in the deltoid. You have to approach it with kindness and respect. So I started out with the, look the other way- stab. This works on 50% of the people. The others are peeved! Capitalize that!!!

I had a lady that was wiggling and panting and moving in ways no human should while reminding me continuously that she hates shots. I merely swabbed her arm to elicit a blood curdling scream...at which point I secretly poked her...but soothingly I showed her the alcohol swab while I wiped her arm and said, "all done!" She opened her eyes in disbelief and I even had to show her the pin prick. She had not felt it.

The Indians, Napalese and Pakistani's stand in line like it's a big screen TV give away and Thank you for their shot. It's health care that they don't get at home.

I did get a huge man that was afraid- deathly afraid of shots. I said a quick prayer that I wouldn't have to catch him should he faint. We did breathing exercises ala Lamaze. I figured the extra oxygen wouldn't hurt. Just when he was ready to push that baby out, or in this case exhale hard, I poked him. He didn't feel a thing and it's a fact that you can't feel pain and exhale out hard. You can't do both. Are we not amazing machines!  Unfortunately, the anticipation did him in and although he didn't weeble, he did wobble on out, but he didn't fall down.

Then there's the man that came in with a forged note from his doctor. Nice try! And some of the kids are hiding...out of sight, out of mind- LOL!!! This shot is a requirement to stay in country. You get shot or you go home. Hey, I should be a slogan writer!

During a break, I strolled out for a smoke and everyone cleared out quick like. Now come on! Did I look like I had needles sticking out of my pockets? Hey! What an idea. I'm afraid by Wednesday I'm going to have to lasso and 4 point people into compliance. Not that I wouldn't mind drop kicking a person or two around here... Oh, none of the peons like me.  I also wouldn't mind tackling some of the cute guys around here , but I am trying to stay age appropriate.

It is very cute how some want to show up their friends and jump in my seat excitedly and even offer to take another for their buddy.

Then there are the ones that ask if the shot hurts. I reply that," I don't feel a thing." It was real funny until last night after loading hundreds of doses without gloves that I got vomitus selectus and runsarrhea. That's my medical term for I got the flu... a mini version. No more Ha! Ha! for me...

I have an idea! Let drop flu bombs on the Taliban. They'll be so busy doing the poopie shuffle and writhing in fever pain that we can take back Afghanistan and declare peace in the land.  Unfortunately it spreads like wildfire and I fear the good people of Afghanistan would suffer. Flu deaths are impossible to predict, but range from 3,000- 40,000 in a year. The complications such as pneumonia can kill you too. So get your flu shot!

A fluff day

                     

Today I met a couple of guys from the Philippines. I love meeting people from all over the world, but people from the Philippines I have an automatic in with . All I have to do is tell them my last name- Briones. They then asked me where my family is from to which I respond- Mexico. They always bust out in laughter. In the Philippines, the name Briones is like Robinson in the US. I reply that we swam a long way, (while mimicking the back stroke for effect)...they always remember me.

People come and go all of the time. This is also the worse part of being overseas, like the military. You make friendships and before you know it someone is transferred elsewhere. It's like commodities- supply and demand. Except here, they will trade a FN (Foreign National- anyone outside of the US) for an American to keep all things equal. I've heard that it's by the contract of the particular company. Something like the hospitals in Detroit that can only hire half the staff in Canadians and other foreigners, unless there's special need. Then they can hire more. It makes no sense. You may have a great team, but then they'll need an American elsewhere and they split up the team. It happens to all nationalities. I have a Bosnian friend that was ripped from the FOB (foreign operating base) to go up north to another FOB. Then we found out it was an equal trade because there were not enough Americans at that base. Well, I think that they should hire more! I know the world struggles with unemployment and low wages...but so do we. I have 6 friends cleared and waiting to come- hire them! Problem solved. I believe I'll work on world hunger next.

We write and promise to see each other again. It does give you something to look forward to. I bet it was like mail call back in the day for the military. For example: my friend Jackline, (from Kenya) wrote to me from a former base that I was at. She wanted to tell me all about the guy that she liked, (from India). I just happened to remember this man because it was odd to see a tall, muscular, very handsome, GQ kind of guy that was also Indian. So I say good taste Jackline. I would love just once to measure the speed on her when she's talking. I know it would be in excess of 110 mph. She talks like she's running out of time and combined with her accent made for some funny chats. I once said that what I did was Stuuuu -pid and that made her laugh so hard. Now it's like a code word. very cute! But emails are the best. I'm still getting them from the tiny FOB that I left behind. I was only there 2 weeks and I've been gone almost a week. Good people were there!

But I have some great friends here at Dwyer too. The last time I left, some threw a party...hmmmm, that doesn't sound too good now that I read it in print. And I even got a cake- and not in the face. FUN! I witnessed a few wonderful parties here. One group was having a surprise birthday party for one of the guys who dressed as a girl and jumped out of a wrapped up box. It was hilarious. The guy looked better as a women and I heard he got quite a few numbers! The Indians had a birthday party for their friend. They walked out with this elaborate cake, wishing him a very happy birthday, then each of them grab some cake and smear it in his face. So much fun! Even though the birthday boy expected it and you could see it on his face that he hoped they would not do it this time...it was all in fun and what a cultural difference. I'll have to surprise someone in my family with a very Indian birthday! That will keep them on their toes!!

But I'm missing my family and friends from back home too. I still can't keep the time straight here, so if I dial you up at 2am please do not hang up on me. I'm a very desperate person...no really, I just can't keep the time difference straight. Love you all!

                          

Send me a parka, I'm freezing!

Winter is officially here at the Sandbox. We had a little sandstorm, then a little rain and waa- la...winter. It dropped at least 40 degrees over a few hours. I been taking a lot of crap over my luggage, which really wasn't that much for a girl- I might add, but included an all seasons coat good up to/down to (?) 20 below- hurray! It is cold at 33 degrees here. The poor Kenyans are layered like Ralphie's little brother (The Christmas Story), and I'm waiting for them to fall over from the layers- insert chuckle here! You can definitely tell who comes from the north. They are still walking around in short sleeves, in fact, I saw a Bosnian guy who had just jumped out of the shower and came for his bedtime smoke in......drum roll.... shorts and a t-shirt....really! I'm from Michigan and you don't see me acting a fool. But, I've also had a tiny little thought that I was switched at birth with a kid that's enjoying hot weather in Texas. I just can't explain looking exactly like the family that I'm with.

Another thing about getting cold here, it stirs all of the critters. I've seen snake trails in the bunkers and rat foot prints...OK they are probably mice, but who cares when they're climbing into your sleeping bag. Everything's trying to find a warm spot.  It's really hilarious to hear people scream over the radios that they need vector,(exterminators) right now to... and vector doesn't respond. I can't tell if they are busy as all get out or if they're giggling on the other end. There is talk/rumors going around of a rat infestation across the street where the poorer foreigners live. They sleep 80 to a tent....whew! I could barely tolerate the 12 princesses I was stuck with. Back to bugs... There are also these nearly invisible spiders that can do a number on you when they're biting a trail up your arm. All things are biting and trying to store up a fat layer. We have very tiny lady bugs. Precious name...lady bugs. We all know that as the world had evolved and the weaker species has been winnowed out, so has the lady bug who has strapped on killer pinchers becoming smaller and meaner.  We have had 2 cases of this little undesirable lady crawling into ear canals.  I was the lucky one who knew what it possibly was and flew out of bed to make a night time trip to the clinic where I tried to drown the bitch.  Remembering that she might float, I put my ear down and shined a flashlight and she swam right out where I promptly smashed her!

The army really hooked me up for the cold! There's 3 colors of sleeping bags: red, green and back. Red are soft and cozy if you need a little warmth and it's 60 degrees outside. Green are good until about 30 degrees. Black is good until 60 below. So I walked in initially to a new clinic in a new setting, Sept 27th in Kandahar when it was 140 degree- welcome to Afghanistan! and everyone laughed at my black sleeping bag telling me that it will be too hot and I'll never need it.  Next base that I went to, same thing. The girls were laughing telling me I should have brought linen from home.  How could I sleep comfortably wrapped up in that?  Well ...Ha!Ha!Ha!  Who's laughing now.  No one was expecting it to get this cold this early in the year.  Even with the space heater in the room cranked as high as it will go, as soon as someone opens the door the heat goes out and it's back to square one. But, I sleep snugly and very warm and comfortably! Thank you US Army!

Time for bed...please pray that my black sleeping bag is still on my bed! Nite all!